Is There Somewhere
by vasoline
Summary: Valerie Beaumont was the sister of Jack Mercer's best friend. That's all she was, until she wasn't.
1. Chapter 1

This was inspired by my probably 123rd time watching Four Brothers. I honestly surprises me I haven't written a fanfic about the movie before. Chapter is intended to get to know the characters & scenery so its not all that exciting yet lol. This is before Evelyn's death (obviously). Let me know what you think! This site autocorrected all Canadian spellings I am personally offended but appreciative since the story is set in Michigan. You win some you lose some.

* * *

 **IS THERE SOMEWHERE**

 _you ain't seen nothin' like me yet_

* * *

 **CHAPTER ONE**

The only light on in the apartment was a lamp shining from the living room but it illuminated the space enough for Valerie to take in the mess. Food and clothing were scattered around the floor, Valerie have to step over everything to leave the porch.

She sighed seeing a mixture of female and male clothes on the floor, no doubt giving away what Jack was up to. Valerie was just thankful they weren't loud; she had closed up at the diner tonight and just needed a rest, she had managed to resist the urge to clean the place up.

Jack walked out of his room only minutes later, shamelessly only in his boxers, a lazy grin on his face.

"Where's your girl?"

Jack shrugged. "She left."

Valerie took another glance at the floor, women's clothes laid down upon it. "Without her clothes?"

"She heard you come in and I told her that you were my girlfriend, she slapped me, but grabbed some of my clothes and jumped down the fire exit," Jack explained, laughing to himself. "We were done and I didn't want her ending up staying the night."

Valerie rolled her eyes, shoving past him. "You're disgusting. You're messy and you treat girls like shit."

"It's the rock star lifestyle, baby girl."

"You're the lead singer in a band that just plays gigs in shitty bars in Detroit, far from a rock star," Valerie said, an edge to her voice. "I don't even know why my brother insisted you room with me."

"His girlfriend hated me and kicked me out of his place." Jack said nonchalantly.

"I know but wasn't your mom's place a good option? Why me?"

Jack just shrugged. "Can't have my brothers thinking I still just mooch off Ma and you're alright, seemed like a good deal to me."

Valerie had been tired when she had stepped in the door but now just felt restless, stepping into the kitchen to grab a coffee and maybe avoid any further banter with Jack for the night.

It didn't happen that way, him stepping into the kitchen just after her. She continued to stay silent, putting the kettle on boil.

"Trust me, if he had warned me that you had become an uptight feminist know-it-all, I would've found somewhere else to stay."

His words were said with intent to piss her off, seemingly his favorite past time, and it always worked. Fire rushing through her veins but she tried to remain calm on the exterior.

"No you wouldn't," she placed a hand on her hip. "This is the cheapest rent by a long shot and you love me _because_ I don't take your shit."

"You think you've got me all figured out." She glanced at him to see a teasing expression on his features, her own lips curling on the edges.

"Of course, bad boys like you are simple," she told him, half-jokingly but with complete sincerity in the words. "It's the nice ones you gotta watch out for. They're tricky."

Jack pulled out a chair from their dinner table, sitting on it so his chest was pressed against the wooden back and he was facing her.

"Okay, well tell me," he gave her a crooked grin. "What have you figured out about me?"

"It's just assumptions. You had a bad home life, which equals the brooding and the deep song writing. You use girls because you're afraid to bond and get hurt. You were treated like shit so that's where the violence comes in..." Jacks eyes flashed and Valerie quickly changed subjects. "You can cook because you spent a lot of time with your mom and got a feel for it. You tell girls straight up there's no strings attached because you have _some_ respect for women and you know the disappointment your mother would feel if you manipulated them. Am I close?"

Jack was silent in his chair, brows furrowed in thought. The kettle went off and Valerie poured them both a coffee, keeping him in the corner of her eye.

She laid the mug down in front of him and he quickly swiveled in his chair as she took a seat next to him.

"You're very close," he told her, not mad, but intrigued. "How did you guess that much?"

Valerie laughed, amused by the faith he had in her. "I took psychology last semester but I also did spend an awful amount of time around you, you being my brothers best friend."

Jack took a sip of his coffee, scrunching his face up at the taste. It was black and he liked three sugar, he reached across her and grabbed the sugar packets.

"So you know all this shit about me but I know shit all about you." He still didn't seem angry, frustrated maybe.

"There's nothing to know. I'm not as interesting."

Jack seemed to ponder that for a moment before shaking his head. "Everyone's got a story and it's always a little interesting."

"Not mine," she said a little too quick, causing Jack to look even more curious. Valerie looked away from his bright eyes and down at her coffee, stirring it with her finger. "Grew up in Detroit, went to college. Not everyone's as cool as you, rock star. If I had some outstanding back story you'd know it after all these years."

"I'll figure you out, Valerie, you'll see."

Valerie bit her lip, nervously. The boy stood up, rummaging through the cupboards and Valerie didn't take her eyes off him. Analyzing the muscles and tattoos and the scruffy hair; no doubt attractive in the moody musician type. No one had ever taken the time to even know if she had a story, let alone want to hear it but he seemed sincere. She didn't want to tell anyone, anyway.

Jack pulled a bottle of whiskey out of the top cupboard, from the far back. Valerie wasn't even sure where it came from; she definitely didn't buy it, preferring wine coolers and martinis to anything slightly hard. Jack twisted it open and dumped more than enough of it into his coffee.

She raised a brow at the actions. "Rough night? I thought your earlier endeavors would have relieved the stress."

"Somewhat," he chuckled darkly. "But the band didn't play too well and the owners not inviting us back. Didn't help he paid us shit all for the gig, either."

"Sorry to hear that."

Jack shook his head brushing off her condolences immediately. It was a reflex she had also picked up on; he hated being pitied so he deflected it.

"It doesn't even matter," he said, "Eli's cousin is hooking us up with this producer friend he knows for a meeting. The same guy who signed The Black Keys."

"Amazing, I hope that works out so you can get the hell outta my apartment and I can get a sensible roommate." She teased, causing Jack to reciprocate with an eye roll.

"You'll miss me. You say I love you because you call me out on my shit - _and maybe you're right_ \- but you love me because of the same thing." Jack smirked and Valerie made a face back at him.

"Maybe you're right. But you're still a slob."

Jack just agreed but Valerie knew he would never change his ways. He stated that, again, being a slob was still part of his image. His image must suck.

"Can you drive us to our next gig tomorrow night?" Jack asked suddenly. "Your brother told me to ask you. Usually his girlfriend does it but she's in an anti-punk rock, anti-him playing in a band mood."

Valerie sighed, her brother's girlfriend was something else. "I really do not like her. I'll see about driving you, where is it?"

"Uh, Warren."

"The suburbs?" Valerie stifled a laugh. "What are you, playing our old high school's prom?"

"Homecoming."

"Amazing," Valerie shook her head. "Shit, you guys are really hitting it big."

"You laugh but they pay good money," Jack was just as amused as her. "Not looking forward to all the requests of She Will Be Loved, though."

"Your image will be destroyed. How can anyone take a punk slash alternative rock band seriously that plays Maroon 5 for _high school dances_?"

"Shut up," he said. "Can you drive us or not?"

Valerie nodded. "I can do more than drive you. I'm coming to see the show."

Jack groaned.

 **X X X**

Stepping back into the doors of your old high school after two years of being graduated was surreal. Everything was the same, even some of the students but it still felt odd, like you no longer belong.

Nobody was impressed Valerie tagged along for the show. Not Jack, not Eli, not Cole, and definitely not Stef, her brother.

"You didn't have to do this, you know," Stef grunted as they unloaded her car with the band equipment. "You can go grab a bite to eat, go for a nice drive… you don't need to watch us play this school dance."

"I love watching you guys perform, you know that."

Stef stared at her blankly. "No you don't. You only come to our shows when I force you."

She grinned wickedly. "You're right, I don't. But _I do_ want to see my punk brother rock out to Drop It like Its Hot."

"I hate you."

"Me too," Jack chimed in. "Can't you just leave? I don't want you to watch me sell-out."

"Wasn't aware you even cared what I thought about you, Jack."

His lips curled. "'Course I do. I've seen your record collection, you've got good taste. Now you're always gonna see me as some sell-out."

"Never," she said. "I'll always see you as the arrogant douchebag punk rocker you are."

"Thank you, Val. It really means so much."

Stef huffed, making both Jack and her turn to him. "You two stop flirting, would ya? And unload the trunk?"

"Are you in a bad mood because Gina isn't here, baby brother? Where is Gina tonight, didn't want to see her boyfriend make teenage girls scream?" Valerie pouted.

"Shut up."

Valerie joked a lot but she did actually enjoy her brother's band. Their name, _The Detroit Vandals_ , was a bit cheesy but their music was good and they played good. Her jokes about Jack were also just jokes, too. Every time she saw Jack on stage, Valerie could tell he was in his element. He might not be a rock star yet but he had the persona, people wanted to watch him and they wanted to listen to him. He brought the rock star vibe everywhere he went. The image he always made fun of was for real. Valerie could see him getting big, all of them. That is if they moved on from playing high school gigs.

She could see Jack having groupies, though she knew he had a couple already. They shared an apartment, after all.

The boys played a ton of amusing material as the night went on. Jack had also been right – She Will Be Loved was requested, and to Valerie amusement, it was also played.

They all came off the stage sweating and with no-so-happy expressions on their faces. Valerie felt a tinge of sympathy; all the boys loved playing music but their kind of music. This was a defeat for them even if it had been funny to her.

"You guys ready to go?" All four boys nodded and some other local band began to replace them on stage.

Valerie dropped them all off. Minus, Jack.

They pulled up to their apartment but neither her or Jack got out of the car. He had been down since they gig was over. She knew it was because Jack thought such a gig was beneath him. The whole time they only got to play one Detroit Vandals song, the rest of the set list was all on the Top 40.

Jack looked up at her. "Do you wanna go to my mom's?"

"Sure," she said.

Jack's mom lived in a small, quaint house in bad neighborhood. Valerie had been there many times to pick up Stef all through middle school and high school. She always had to walk two blocks to get him to come home for dinner or for the night. They didn't have a phone, their dad believed it was a 'luxury' (this came in handy when she had begun skipping off, the office could never call home). Evelyn would always invite her in for some coffee cake or various cookies before sending both her and Stef off home. It was always rowdy there, always a fight between brothers but it was cozy.

"Do you want me to pick you up later or are you staying here?"

Jack shook his head. "No, I want you to come in."

Valerie was surprised but followed Jack inside. It smelt like it always did: like something was baking and vanilla candles. Evelyn must have worked hard for it to smell like that constantly, having four dirty boys.

Evelyn sat in front of the television but stood up when she saw them come in. Smiling, she wrapped Jack in a hug, which he returned. Valerie's own lips turned up at the cute affection for his mother.

Evelyn also pulled Valerie into a warm hug. "Haven't seen you in ages, darling. What a coincidence, too – I made your favorite, coffee cake."

"Nice to see you, Evelyn." Valerie said sincerely. "What a coincidence that is because it turns out I've been craving your coffee cake for a while."

"Go grab some, then. We'll follow you in a minute." Evelyn then waved her off to the kitchen. Evelyn must of sensed Jack's sour mood and probably was going to take this time to coerce it out of him.

The cake was already cut into slices and covered in plastic wrap on the counter. She carefully unwrapped it and grabbed two slices, placing them down on a plate and heading to the dining room to sit.

Jack and Evelyn did follow her, about five minutes later. Jack looked sheepish, Valerie thought maybe he was embarrassed that she knew he had come here to get a pep talk from his mom but Valerie thought it was adorable.

"How many pieces have you had, Valerie, since we've been gone? Four?" Evelyn teased.

"Almost," Valerie laughed. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it, you know you're always welcome to anything around here." Evelyn sat down across from her. "How's Stefan?"

Nobody called Stef, Stefan. Evelyn was the only one he let get away with it.

"He's good," Valerie chocked out in between bites. "Minus his crazy girlfriend."

Evelyn eyed Jack. "The girlfriend that kicked you out?"

"That's the one." Jack said, taking a seat, too.

"What a shame," said Evelyn, giving her head a shake. "But I'm afraid you two caught me at a bad time. I was just about to head out. Feel free to hang around, though. I'm not kicking you out."

Valerie noticed it now. Evelyn was all done up: her make-up, a pretty dress, jewelry, heels, and the whole thing. Valerie smirked at her and Evelyn winked back. She was going on a date. Jack seemed oblivious and they both kept it that way. Evelyn's sons were very protective of her, she probably wouldn't make it out the door if Valerie mentioned it to Jack.

"Have fun." Valerie said and Evelyn scurried out the door.

"I missed her." Valerie told Jack.

Jack nodded. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, one sec."

Valerie headed back to the kitchen and dumped a couple pieces of coffee cake into a paper towel. Jack watched her in judgement.

"Okay, now I'm ready."

The way back to their apartment was quiet, once again. Jack still looked down but Valerie was too intimidated to ask why.

"Thanks for coming with me tonight, Val," Jack said quietly when they were stopped at a red light. "I just didn't really wanna be alone."

Valerie gave him a soft smile.

"Anytime."


	2. Chapter 2

I have up to chapter ten written of this fic, probably the most dedication I've given to a fanfic ever. Feedback is nice :)

* * *

 _a little bit of give, a lot of take_

* * *

 **CHAPTER TWO**

Women's Studies was uneventful, Valerie was usually intrigued by it but not today. She didn't need the course; it was just an elective she took to fill her time table. She was on a scholarship and in order to get it, she had to be a full-time student. Women's Studies had nothing to do with becoming a social worker but alas.

"I hate when the prof decides not to show and let's that stiff intern take over," Jamie sighed. They both gathered up their things to leave. "I also hate when I have work right after class."

"How is that? Working at ElectriK," Valerie laughed.

" _Terrible_ , nah, it's alright," said Jamie with a shrug. "Except my boss is pissed because the band cancelled last second. They're supposed to perform live music every Friday night but now they can't."

Valerie lit up. "I've got a way you can score some points with your boss."

The aroma of cheese and garlic hit Valerie as soon as she entered the apartment. Jack stood in front of the stove, oven mitts on his hands, and pulling a dish out of the oven. It was a nice sight, coming home and someone having cooked for you. That was one of the most attractive things about Jack, he was damn good at cooking and liked to show that off.

"What'd you make me?" Valerie grinned, sliding into a seat at their table.

"I didn't make it for you, don't get any ideas," Jack said. "I was hungry. I made lasagna and garlic bread."

"I don't care who it's for, you're a saint."

Jack brought over two plates of food and sat down with her. It tasted delicious but Valerie wouldn't expect otherwise. Last week he cooked them a ham. Valerie thought she hated ham but Jack made her think different.

"I love your domestic qualities."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Eat your food."

Smug that she succeeded in annoying Jack, she dug back into her food.

Since Jack made the food, Valerie washed the dishes. She put on Gravity the Our Lady Peace album. Skipping to track three and letting _Somewhere Out There_ blast through their CD player's speakers.

Jack groaned immediately. She played the song too much in his opinion but Valerie didn't care. But she was reminded of the gig she had signed Jack and the other Detroit Vandals up for.

"Jack?" She called out.

"Yeah?" He said over the music. She turned it down.

"Can you come here?"

She could here Jack's loud footsteps padding their way to the kitchen. He walked right on his heels; it was lucky they were on the apartment underneath them was empty because Valerie was sure they would cause complaints.

"What do you want?"

"I got you a gig," Valerie smiled. "At the club ElectriK."

"For real?" He genuinely looked happy. "When?"

"Tomorrow night."

Once Valerie uttered the word 'tomorrow' Jack was grabbing his jacket and rushing out the door. He told Valerie they had to practice and create a set list.

Valerie _did_ usually skip out on all Detroit Vandals gigs but since she set this one up, she thought she would show her face. Plus Jamie told her to show so Jamie would know she was letting the right men on stage.

Valerie liked the casual bar but clubs were a different story. She finished her make-up and slipped on a mini dress and leather boots. It was simple but made Valerie seem like she put a lot of effort into her appearance. That's the way she liked it.

Gina couldn't drive again so Valerie was the bands chauffeur for the night, even if she didn't watch the performance.

Jack banged on her door roughly and Valerie pulled it open. He looked as if he was going to fall in. "Yes?"

He gave her a once over. "You ready?"

"Indeed."

Valerie was in charge of unloading the trunk, Jack was in charge of moving the equipment into the building, and Eli and Austin were in charge of setting it all up. Somehow Stef ended up in charge of talking to the clubs manager and thanking him for the 'great opportunity'. It was completely phony. Stef just didn't like putting in any work. Never did.

Valerie unloaded the last amp and gave Jack a thumbs up before heading in and waiting for them to play. Jamie greeted her at the door.

"The band you got for me looks promising, by promising I mean they're all hot." Valerie watched Jamie give them all the eye. Valerie could taste the bile in her throat when Jamie winked at Stef.

"That is my brother and all his friends. Please do not ogle them."

Jamie shrugged. "You must know they're a hunky bunch."

 _Hunky bunch_. Valerie had to walk away. She found a table near the front of the stage and ordered a piña colada. Stef would poke fun at her drink, he always called her a light weight because she only drank sweet drinks and not whiskey or rum.

Detroit Vandals opened up with their song "Loving Won't Leave Me Alone." It was probably Valerie's favorite and it was one of the oldest. They had penned it back in the eleventh grade but it never lost its touch. It was so desperate; it was about an unrequited love that just wouldn't go away. Valerie didn't frequent their shows but Valerie had a recorded version of that song on her CD labelled 'mix of my ultimate favs' but she didn't let any of the boys know that.

She was down to the bottom of her drink and the boys were on their third song when someone dropped down in the chair next to her.

"If it isn't Valerie Beaumont," grinned a guy next to her. "Figured a girl like you would get out of the D."

Valerie had to stare at him for a moment but she managed to recognize the face. Cole Dylan. It was easy to remember because he had two first names. They had gone to high school together; she briefly remembered making out with him at a kegger one time.

"Whys that?"

Cole shrugged, sipping from the beer bottle clutched in his hands. "You got the face for it and the ambition. Nothing pretty stays around here for long."

Valerie was a sucker for a compliment. "That's a nice thing to say but I love this city. It's my home."

Valerie slurped at the bottom of her drink, trying to sip up the rest of the ice cream at the bottom. She felt Cole's eyes on her.

"Looks like that one's finished," he said. "Let me buy you another drink."

She let him and Cole ordered her another piña colada which she indulged in gratefully.

"I haven't seen you in forever," Valerie said. "Where have you been?"

"I was studying at NYU but I transferred here for a semester. My grandmother is sick and I just wanted to be here for her."

"That's too bad. I'm sorry."

Cole brushed it off. "I'm not here for a pity party I'm here for some fun, its nothing."

"Still, I think it's very nice of you to come back here like that for your grandmother. It's sweet."

"Thank you." Cole smiled.

They talked for a while and Valerie was surprised she wasn't bored. In high school, Cole had been far away from her type. He lived over in Warren in a beautiful house and had a good life. He played defense for the football team and was class vice president. Valerie usually went for her own kind; grew up in a bad neighborhood and was always up to no good. Valerie was actually a secret goodie-two-shoes, though. She had straight A's, was part of the volleyball team, and girl's hockey, that's how she got the scholarship. The only scratch on her clean image was her graffiti, she had been obsessed with it back in those days. She thought she was representing something or putting meaning on the streets by the art she created. She gave that up the first year of university. She was too afraid she might lose her almost free ride and she didn't think anybody was noticing the meaning behind her street art. Cole looked like he never broke the law in his life and if she had never seen the guy with a joint to his lips in high school, she would believe that. But Cole wasn't some upper-class scholar with no substance, he was funny and he was smooth. Nothing as she remembered.

"It was great seeing you," Cole locked eyes with her. "Maybe I can take you out sometime?"

The last time Valerie had been on a date she couldn't even remember. But it couldn't hurt.

"I'd love that."

A throat cleared behind her. "Hey, Val."

Valerie turned to see Jack, she gave him a smile. "Hey, you guys are done already?"

"It's been two hours," Jack looked between Cole and her. "Can we head home? I'm fucking tired."

"Sure."

Valerie turned back to Cole. "Sorry, I've gotta go but I'm holding you to that date, okay?"

"Okay," said Cole. "I'll call you, soon."

The boys were already loading her car back up when Jack and Valerie exited the club. The air was crisp; October was quickly turning into November and winter definitely wanted everyone to know it was on its way.

"What was that about?" Jack said in a rough voice. "With that guy, wasn't he like class vice president back in the day?"

"Nothing, I was just having a good time. And yeah, that's the one. Surprised you even knew that, did you even go to school?"

"Funny."

"What are you guys talking about?" Stef butted into the conversation.

Jack turned his neck so he could face Stef. "Your sisters got a date with some douchey jock from high school."

Stef looked at her sternly. "That true?"

Valerie sighed, her brother was always too protective when he came to boys. It was like he was always trying to pick up their father's slack; their dad didn't give a crap what Valerie did.

"Yes, it's true," Valerie said with a whine. "But he's _nice_."

"It's the nice ones you gotta watch out for!" Stef continued.

Jack raised a brow, Valerie laughed. They both realized that she had said the exact same line a few nights ago.

"Like brother like sister." Jack muttered with a chuckle.

Valerie unlocked their apartment door and as soon as Jack was in, he was out. He took a quick shower and put on a change of clothes and he left again.

"I thought you were tired?" She yelled after him.

"I was!" He hollered back.

Valerie tried not to be frustrated with him but he had told her he was tired and that was the only reason she left ElectriK, she was having a good time with Cole. But it turns out she had only brought him home so he could freshen up and probably go look for the next girl he could score with.

Valerie always loved to be right but not tonight. Jack returned home at just past two in the morning and not without a girl. Valerie should be used to this but she wasn't. Every time Jack brought someone home, Valerie couldn't get to sleep. They were always too loud. There wasn't any way Jack was _that_ good, no way.

They quieted down just before Valerie was about to snap and go into Jack's room and break it up herself. She had never been so happy to hear their apartment door shut and lock. It was almost four at that time. She had never been so annoyed in her life. The walls in this place were _very_ thin. Jack definitely hadn't been tired.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews. Hope you like chapter 3!

* * *

 _thought and a notion_

* * *

 **CHAPTER THREE**

The smell of eggs and bacon didn't even please Valerie eight o'clock the next morning. She was running on four hours of sleep.

"I made breakfast." Jack said as she stepped into the kitchen. He looked way too happy for her liking. He was only dressed in his boxers and Valerie hated that he was attractive enough that she didn't mind. She wanted to mind.

"I can see that," she grumbled. "Go put some clothes on."

"And not give you the privilege of seeing this view? I couldn't."

If Valerie was in a _good_ mood she would have laughed. But she wasn't.

She ignored the beautifully fried eggs and bacon and just grabbed a piece of toast he had buttered to spite him then headed back to her room. She had to pick up Stef for work, he had called her a couple minutes ago. That was the only reason she was up at this time. Gina had used his car to go to the doctor. Then she had to head off to the diner, her boss had offered her an extra shift because Marcella had called in sick. She probably wouldn't be getting anymore extra shifts after, Valerie with only four hours of sleep was a monster.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked as she slipped on her shoes.

"Bringing Stef to the warehouse then to work."

Valerie slammed the door behind her.

Stef looked just as miserable as she did, if the bags under his eyes said anything. Valerie highly doubted he had much or any sleep.

"You look like shit." She greeted him.

"You too." He said.

Stef worked at the warehouse for some generic department store. The job was almost completely lifting boxes. It was crap but it paid better than her waitressing.

"Why'd Gina have to go to the doctors so bad?"

Stef grunted.

"What was that, baby brother?"

"Stop calling me that we have a two month difference," he snipped at her. "And she's been having migraines."

"She couldn't drive you to work?"

"It was really bad."

Valerie sighed. "Stef, why do you even like this girl? She doesn't even respect you have to get to work at a certain time."

"Just leave it."

"Stef, please. She's just no good."

They rolled into the warehouse parking lot.

"Oh, good. We're here." Stef got out of the car abruptly and almost took the door with him the way he flung it.

Valerie watched him walk into the warehouse and cursed herself for making him mad at her. She was just trying to be a good sister and look out for him.

The shift at the diner was only short: four hours. But when the amount you worked was the same you slept, it wasn't enjoyable.

Jack wasn't home when she got back. She didn't expect him to be. But his mess was. He didn't clean a single dish and all the irritation she felt for him that morning came flooding back.

She started on the dishes and even tidied up the rest of the apartment. She didn't have anything better to do.

The phone rang around three. It was Cole. He actually called. Often guys just said they would. He wanted to go for a late supper, around seven. He'd pick her up. Valerie hung up and started to get ready.

She threw her works clothes to the floor and jumped in the shower. Valerie didn't have an endless supply of 'date clothes', ninety percent of her closet was jeans, probably. But she managed to pull something together. A black suede dress, her blue leather jacket, and heeled leather boots.

She was brushing her teeth when Jack got home.

"Val?"

She spit. "Yeah?"

He appeared in the doorway and looked her up and down. "Where are you going?"

"Out with Cole."

Jack nodded. "Just finished talking to Stef. He's pissed at you. Super pissed."

Valerie shrugged. "Let him be pissed. I don't trust Gina."

"Me neither. We're on the same side because now Stef's pissed I agreed with you."

Valerie chuckled and pushed past him. "He'll get over it."

The buzzer for their apartment went off and Cole's voice came through. "I know I'm early but I'm here to get you."

Valerie let him in.

"I'm sure he will," Jack said, continuing where they left off. "You look pretty, by the way."

Valerie tried not to look taken aback by the comment and grabbed her purse. "Thanks, Jack."

"No problem."

Cole brought them to one of those fancy steakhouses. It didn't remind her of Willie's Roadhouse 'Steak Tuesdays' that she would go to every Tuesday in high school. Not in the slightest. First difference: they had fancy white tablecloths on every table and not a piece of brown paper you can draw on. It also had a big fish tank with exotic fish inside. Classy.

But she couldn't afford it and she felt guilty making Cole pay for a place like this.

"Maybe we should go somewhere else." Valerie suggested before the host sat them.

Cole glanced down at her. "Why, is there a problem? Do you hate this place –"

"No," said Valerie quietly. "I just can't pay for something like this. I can hardly afford a litre of milk."

That caused Cole to laugh. "Don't worry, it's on me."

"No-" but Cole ignored her and started talking to the hostess who began leading them to their seats.

A man named Michael dressed in a button up shirt and nice black slacks took their order. She ordered a small steak and salad. The menu didn't even have prices; that's how you knew it was expensive and that's why she ordered the smallest combo on the menu.

"Michael, before you go," the waiter turned on his heel when Cole called out to him. "Can you get us a bottle of chardonnay? That Bonneau du Martray one?"

 _Chardonnay_. _Bonneau du Martray_. Sometimes Valerie drank boxed wine that she got her older university friends to buy her.

"He didn't even ask for you I.D." Valerie said, surprised. Jamie let her have drinks at ElectriK but everywhere else Valerie had to get someone else to purchase from them for her.

"It's all in the confidence. If you feel you're twenty-one, so do they."

"Amazing. If I wanted booze I'd probably have to take that four hour drive to Toronto."

Michael came back with their wine and laid a basket of breadsticks in front of them. Valerie was impressed but way out of her element.

She took a sip of her wine and attempted not to screw up her face. It was a little too strong and not enough fruity for her tastes.

The rest of the date was typical: they ate, they asked each other about their majors and hobbies, where they worked, all first date material was covered. He even ordered dessert despite her protests. Caramel cheesecake. It was absolutely delicious.

They stood in front of her apartment. Now it was Cole who looked out of his element.

"You're not in the suburbs anymore." She joked.

"Yeah," he said. "I can definitely see that."

"It looks scarier than it is. Sorta," Valerie switched topics. "I had a really good time tonight, Cole."

He stepped closer, smiling. "Me too."

It was a small kiss and it left more to the imagination than she was used to. Every other guy she had been with was a little too forward straight from the start. Cole kissing her was sweet and quick and soft. His lips were smooth and when he pulled away the taste of Chapstick was left on her lips.

"I'll call you again," Cole said, stepping away. Valerie knew he wanted to get out of this neighborhood. "I can't wait until I see you next."

"Goodnight, Cole."

He got into his car and sped off.

"Is that Jack Mercer laying on the couch ten o'clock on a Saturday night? Never thought I'd see the day."

Jack jumped at the sound of her voice. He must have been asleep; sleep sounded good to her right about now.

"You came home?" Jack said, his voice held a grogginess to it.

"Of course, I did. Where else would I go?"

Jack glanced out the window. "I just thought you'd be _out_."

Which was code for he thought she would be out all night screwing Cole.

"Nah," she said. "Not everybody's a little sleaze like you."

"I'm not a sleaze."

She raised a brow. "Really? Then why do you got that tongue ring?"

Jack threw a cushion at her. "Shut up. You're so mean."

"I'm kidding," Valerie laughed and tossed the pillow back. "I think as long as you're safe you can bang whoever you want. Wrap it up. That's my advice for you and for a healthy sex life."

"Please stop talking."

Valerie sat down on the couch next to him and grabbed the remote, flicking the TV from an episode of Scrubs to a CSI marathon. Jack lid back down and kicked his feet up in her lap.

He propped his head up a couple minutes into the episode of CSI. "Do you wanna go somewhere with me?"

Valerie thought about it. "I'm kinda tired."

Jack sat up fully. "C'mon, please. You're dressed for it already. We have a couple drinks, maybe shoot some pool."

" _Fine_. Let's go out."


	4. Chapter 4

**This was just thrown to together. I meant to edit it but I am too lazy and I haven't updated in forever and just wanted an update out there. Enjoy.**

* * *

 _things that are wrong are sometimes right_

* * *

 **CHAPTER FOUR**

They didn't even take the car, they just went around the block. Jack told her he goes there all the time and they had never once I.D.'d him. She guessed they weren't about to start either because they got in to the bar no problem. It was a pretty nice place for a joint called "Joe's".

Jack got her a martini and a beer for himself. She didn't really need a drink after all the wine she had at dinner but she sipped on it to be polite.

She drank her drink and watched as a blonde woman made advances on Jack. Jack looked content but he didn't make his usual dirty remarks back. The blonde asked Jack if he would like to go somewhere more private and, to Valerie's surprise, Jack said no. _He_ turned down a girl making moves on him.

"You any good at pool?" Jack asked her as he eyed the table. The blonde had rushed off after Jack shut down her offer.

"Nope." She said sincerely. "If you want someone who sinks the cue ball every shot, I'm your girl. If you want someone who sinks that eight ball so early there's no way it's not embarrassing? I'm your girl."

"Shame," he said. "Still up for a game?"

Valerie agreed to a game against Jack. She had already accepted she was going to lose before they even made the small trek to the table.

Jack set up the balls and broke them up because Valerie's shot wouldn't have enough force to do so. Jack sunk a solid and Valerie knew enough about pool to know that meant Valerie was striped.

First attempt Valerie didn't even hit the cue ball hard enough to hit anything else. If she was going to do this, she was going to need another drink. She chugged the martini back and got another.

"If you end up half in the sack you're gonna do even worse." Jack laughed at her.

"We'll see."

Jack was right. Buzzed Valerie was worse than Sober Valerie.

"Just let me teach you how to hold it right, at least."

Valerie stared at him. "No, I don't wanna do that cliché waist-holding-grinding up on each other romantic-looking thing. Might ruin _my_ image."

Jack scoffed at her speech. "What's your image?"

"Detroit's Innocent Angel."

"I'm sure," Jack said, grabbing a hold of her waist anyway. "We're doing that cliché shit whether you like it or not because you're crap at pool."

Valerie leaned into him, giving in. "Alright, teach me your ways, Pool Master."

"You say that as a joke but I'm actually a master at hustling pool."

"Always wondered where you got your rent money."

Jack got Valerie to hold the stick write and showed her how to aim better. She could feel him breathing down her back they were that close. Jack pulled them back and then lunged them forward so they could manage to hit the cue ball. Valerie could feel all his body heat radiating on to her. The ball bounced around and actually knocked some others. A striped five fell into the hole.

She grinned and Jack gave her a nod, backing off her. "Okay, now try for yourself."

Valerie leaned over to hit the cue ball but lacked the confidence she had when Jack was holding on to her. She managed to knock a few pool balls around on her own but none sunk.

"At least you're better."

Valerie only sunk three balls total. Jack sunk all of his, winning by a landslide. Valerie was also completely sloshed now, she stated she had needed the liquid confidence for the game but she hadn't been this drunk since the summer after eleventh grade.

A familiar _Hit Me!_ blasted through the bars speakers and suddenly the dance floor seemed a whole lot more appealing to Valerie. There were a few couple ups there dancing and a couple girls just jumping around and Valerie decided to join.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked, worry in his voice that she was straying. Valerie didn't answer.

 _Can you keep up, baby boy, make me lose my breath..._

Valerie joined the other girls who were just jumping around to Destiny's Child at first. She just jumped with them to the beat for a while. But she was drunk enough to do her own thing and found herself in the centre of the floor. She could feel people watching but she already had let go of all her inhibitions. Valerie let her hips sway to the beat, uncaring. She saw Jack a little further back and slipped off her leather jacket, tossing it to him. She watched him slip it on to one of the bar stools.

Her hair was flinging around wildly and sweat beads had formed all over her skin but she didn't want to stop dancing. She hadn't danced in what felt like a long time.

The beat of _Lose My Breath_ rolled out and Justin Timberlake's, _Like I Love You_ , rolled in. Mid-sway a pair of hands gripped at her hips, pulling her against them and helping her sway to the beat. She tilted her head to get a look at who was behind her. Jack stood there. He was just as close as he was as he taught her to play pool but now they were both caving into each other's bodies.

Valerie slid down Jack's body, letting her hands slowly trail down his chest. He kept pulling her closer until the warmth between them was as thick as the tension. Slowly, Valerie made her way back up, making sure they were still closely pressed together. His short, hot breaths hit her neck and made her shiver. Valerie grinded against him and she swore she heard him laugh.

"I bet your brother doesn't know you can dance like that."

Valerie smirked. "I bet you're not gonna tell him."

"You're right."

They danced so tight Valerie wasn't even sure where she ended and Jack started anymore. It was all a blur of hands, hips, and legs. Valerie didn't know Jack could dance at all, he seemed too _cool_. Jack seemed like the guy who leaned up against the back wall, smoking a cigarette, eyeing the females moving across the room, and making them come to him.

But Jack had started this and Valerie wasn't ready to finish it, not even when the bartender yelled out last call or not even when she was forced to when the bartender told them he had to close up.

They stumbled home together, Valerie clinging to Jack's shoulder for support. They never really spoke after Jack brought up her brother but they hadn't needed to. She was amazed at how carefree they had been. Her grudge against him causing her to get no sleep melted away as they melted together and all her other thoughts left. All she could feel was the beat and Jack.

Jack fumbled for the keys and let them inside. As soon as they were in, Valerie threw off her boots. They were cramping her feet all night.

"Does that guy, Cole, know how you can move?" Jack asked randomly.

Valerie was almost too tired to comprehend the question. "No but I bet he'll figure it out."

Valerie slumped on the couch, her feet had given up. Making it to her room would not be possible.

Jack watched her with raised brows. "What happened to the Innocent Angel of Detroit?"

"She'll be back tomorrow," mumbled Valerie, her eyes getting heavy. "She just left after the sixth martini."

Jack shook his head. "Goodnight, Val."

When Valerie woke up, she wished she had been awake enough last night to remember to close the curtains. The sun blasted in through the windows, immediately reminding her of how much she drank. She had forgot what a hangover had felt like until now and she really wanted to forget it again.

A glass of water and an aspirin were laid on the coffee table. She guessed Jack did it but Valerie didn't care why it was there, she just wanted to take it for a little relief.

"You're awake," Jake said, coming out of his room. His voice was just a little too loud. "I thought you might have died."

"You thought I died and you just left me here on the couch. Heroic."

"I try," Jack looked over to the counter. "There's some sausage and egg McMuffins and hashbrowns over there if you wish to indulge in that greasy hangover cure."

That was enough to motivate Valerie to get up. The food was almost cold and sort of soggy, Jack must have been up way before her, but it still tasted amazing to her right now.

"Thank you. You are the greatest."

Valerie had been trying to repress her memory from the night before but it was all there, in hazy pictures. Looking at Jack made it all come to the surface. She had grinded all over Jack for hours. _She dirty danced her brother's best friend_. Stef would kill her.

"Um, I'm sorry about last night," she rambled out an apology which was even more humiliating than just ignoring what happened. "I'm a horny drunk. Also, I think I'm Beyoncé when I'm drunk. But you've experienced both of those meshed together and I'm sorry."

Jack just looked at her. "And the Innocent Angel of Detroit returns."

Valerie groaned at the name she coined for herself. "And I'm sorry I called myself that."

Jacks lips twitched. "You had fun, that's all that matters."


	5. Chapter 5

No Jack in this chapter but I'll try to update fast and he's definitely in the next one! Enjoy! Thanks for the reviews/favs/follows, I really appreciate it **.**

* * *

 _you can have your pretty boy_ _but he won't understand you,_ _not like i do;_

 _you're downtown, honey._ _too much for him to chew._

* * *

 **CHAPTER FIVE**

"Your assignment for this week is I want a four page essay on an inequality you feel passionate about. It could be racial, gender, anything. If you want them proof read you can send a copy to me or one of my interns."

Valerie didn't want to write anything that was four pages long but it was shorter than a lot of essays she had written in the past. She left her Sociology: Power & Inequality class quickly, throwing her books into the back of her car. She didn't go home, instead she ended up driving to the hardware store that wasn't too far away. Something had inspired her.

She grabbed a cart and searched for the aisle that sold spray paints. She hadn't picked up a can in a year but now she was itching to.

A familiar face stood in one of the aisles, flicking through paint swatches.

"Jeremiah Mercer." Valerie said with a smile.

Jeremiah turned and gave her a toothy smile of his own. He reached out and gave her a brief hug. Jeremiah only lived a few blocks up from where he used to live but she hardly ever seen him since they all grew up.

"Valerie," he said. "How's everything?"

"Good, how are you?"

Jeremiah didn't get time to answer. Camille appeared out from behind him and two young girls were suddenly wrapped around his legs. She knew he had kids but she had only seen the oldest, once, right after she was born.

"Hello, Camille." Camille gave Valerie a nod.

The two girls looked up at her when she started talking and then back to their dad.

"Daddy, who's she?" The older one asked.

"I'm a friend of your Uncle Jack's." Valerie said, warmly. It seemed much too complicated to tell the little girl she was the sister of Jack's best friend. Maybe she and Jack were friends now, anyway.

"How is that boy?" Jeremiah said. They must have not seen each other in a while, too.

"He's good, his band has been performing more than before," she told him. "Plus, he's living with me so he can't get into too much trouble or he'd be back to Evelyn's so quick."

Jeremiah looked surprised. "So how long have you two been together, then?"

Valerie shook her head with a laugh. "We're not. Just roommates. Stef kicked him out and he came running over to my place."

"Oh," Jeremiah was quieter now. "I just figured…"

"Nope."

They said their goodbyes and Valerie went back on her hunt for spray paint. She almost cashed her whole pay cheque on supplies when she did find it.

The darkness had rolled in by the time she left the hardware store. Which was perfect because street art and daylight meant you got caught almost every time.

She picked a building very close to her apartment and started on a wall that faced into an alley. Valerie had made the stencils for this project the night before because suddenly she just had an urge to make something. Just as she had spontaneously went and picked up the paint. All Monday morning she tried to convince herself not to put the stencils to any use but couldn't stop herself. The risk of getting in trouble and losing her scholarship hung over her head but Valerie still picked up the spray can and aimed it at the building.

The wall was already somewhat vandalised. It had simple things like 'fuck you' or 'A+K' encircled by a heart. She avoided all of those and put her work right in the centre of the wall.

When she was done, she took a few step back and admired it. A small girl stood on a hill, hanging over Detroit, and looked down on the city. The city was just a blur of lights from where the girl stood and it seemed peaceful. But the girl was gripping a suitcase because she knew the truth. Peaceful would never be synonymous with Detroit.

Valerie gave it one last look and picked up all her things.

Stef was sitting at her kitchen table when she finally got home. Valerie was glad she had stuffed all her supplies into her book bag. He wouldn't have cared that she did graffiti, he had done much worse, but Valerie liked having it a secret.

"Whats all over your clothes?" He asked.

Valerie looked down. Dots of pinks, yellows, blacks, and more had speckled her denim jacket.

Valerie shrugged, trying to think of a lie. "I was at an art class. It got messy."

Stef nodded, believing her. "I came to say sorry for being a dick the other day."

He sighed. "It's just I love Gina, I really do. I know everyone doesn't see her like I do but can you at least accept that's she going to be a part of my life?"

Stef had just said he loved Gina. Stef had many girlfriends but he had never told Valerie he loved them. Stef had probably only said that twice to Valerie in total and she was his sister. Stef didn't just throw that word around; he had to mean it and feel it to use it.

Valerie stood speechless.

"I'm not going to break up with her for you or for Jack. Not for anyone. So stop trying to convince me."

"Okay." Valerie squeaked out. She had meant to say it with confidence but it had gotten strangled in her throat.

"Thank you." Stef stood up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later."

Valerie didn't say anything else. She couldn't form any words. She had tried so hard to protect her brother from getting used or his heartbroken because Gina seemed like the type of girl to _do_ those things. But all those attempts had been in vain. Stef was _in love_ with Gina and that meant there was no protecting his heart from anything now.

 **X X X**

Valerie drove out to Warren the next morning, very early. Cole had called her and that was the only reason she would be up this early when she didn't have class or work. It had been hours but Stef's confession of his love for Gina was still playing on her mind, a walk with Cole would at least distract her.

Valerie put her car in park outside his apartment building and walked up. Her place looked shabby compared to this, it was almost embarrassing in contrast. She didn't even have to go inside, Cole was in the lobby waiting.

"You ready?" She asked and he nodded. They started walking around the neighborhood.

Cole took her to a park just about a ten minute walk from his place. It was beautiful, the grass was bright green and all the trees enclosing the park were as tall as buildings. Their leaves were all crisp shades of red, orange and brown. It was also so clean. She didn't even see a piece of litter around. But the guy across the field in the neon orange vest and a metal poking stick thing was probably the cause of that.

They sat down on a bench that was shaded by a willow tree. Not that they needed the shade, it was chilly out, even with the sun high in the sky. Valerie had dressed warm, a jacket, mitts, and a scarf. She hated the cold and that was hilarious from a girl who had only left Michigan once. She went to Toronto for her and Stef's nineteenth birthday. They went in December since Stef's birthday was in December and hers was in October. It was freezing there, worse than Detroit.

Valerie absentmindedly cuddled into Cole, laying her head in the crook of his neck. She was shivering slightly.

"Are you cold?"

"A little." Valerie admitted.

"There's a café just down the road from here, want to go get some coffee?"

"I'd love to." She smiled.

The café was small but cute and much warmer than outdoors. They grabbed a booth and Cole went to get their orders.

She had gotten a French vanilla and when Cole passed it to her it had a heart drawn in the foam.

"That is so cute," she had never seen that before. She got all her coffee at Dunkin' Donuts and none of those teenagers would ever care enough to draw a heart in her drink. "Thank you for this, you know. I had money."

"Don't worry about it."

The café played music like 'Banana Pancakes' by Jack Johnson. All that soft stuff that sounded alike.

"You've changed a lot." Cole told Valerie in the middle of their chat.

Valerie was taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"You used to be this cold, hard-as-nails girl. You only dated guys like Jack Mercer. You checked anyone you could on the ice," Cole said. "Now, you're so put together. You never gave me a second glance in high school and you'd probably call this place tacky if I brought you here back then. It's nice."

Valerie wasn't sure how she felt about anything Cole had just said. She didn't think she had changed that much, she just didn't put up the front she used to. If he didn't like Valerie then, maybe he wouldn't like her now. She did think this place was a little tacky but that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy it and if he challenged her to a game of hockey right now, she would be just as rough as she had been then. It made her feel uneasy. Valerie didn't even comment, she switched the subject.

Valerie ordered another coffee to go and they headed back outside.

Cole took her back to his place. The whole apartment was white: the walls, the cupboards, the couch, everything. It was almost blinding how fresh it looked. She was almost scared to sit on the couch when he gestured for her to. She thought maybe the dye from her jeans would rub off on it. He had laughed at that.

Warren had its own share of run-down houses and crime, she had passed it on the drive up here and knew all about it when she went to high school here. But Cole didn't live in those parts. He lived in somewhere she could never relate to. Inner-city Detroit looked like what Cole's Warren would if it had become a ghost town.

Cole turned on his TV and popped in the movie _Remember the Titans_ and pulled her closer. Before the starting opening credits even finished rolling, Cole had his lips pressed to hers.

Cole yanked her even closer and Valerie swung her legs over him so she was sitting on his hips. Cole was completely focused: his hands held her face in place and his mouth moved with hers softly. It all seemed so calculated. He never once bumped noses or teeth and he didn't get sloppy. It was if he had figured out exactly where he was supposed to be and never moved from there. He didn't push further either. Kissing, that's all it was. It never escalated. Even when she sneakily tried to buck her hips into his, Valerie never got a reaction.

His breath tickled her face when they separated, she giggled at the feeling.

"Valerie," he said.

"Yes?"

"I know it's fast but I gotta ask. Be my girlfriend? I just don't see the point in waiting to ask, I know what I want."

Valerie paused. She had never been the best at relationships or maybe she just picked terrible company. A part of Valerie wanted to immediately tell Cole yes but another part of her suggested they were just too different. Valerie knew she liked him – he made her feel pretty, he treated her nice, he respected her, and he took things slow, which she had never experienced.

"Yes." She said. She smiled at him and he pulled her in for another kiss but Valerie was nervous if she made the right decision or not.


	6. Chapter 6

SORRY FOR THIS LONG ASS WAIT

* * *

 _it's written all over my face._

* * *

 **CHAPTER SIX**

Stress was all Valerie could feel. She had no idea what inequality to write about for Sociology class. Being in Women's Studies, she should've been able to think of a few but none of them were clicking. She had about four different half papers done but she threw them all out. She didn't feel like writing and she couldn't force herself to write anything that wasn't half-ass at the moment. That's what she got for pushing the essay to the last minute.

Jack sat on the couch playing his guitar and she sat on the floor scribbling into her notebook.

"Stop huffing," Jack said, halting his guitar playing for a small moment. "You're ruining my jam session."

"Your jam session is ruining my essay." She huffed out even though he told her to stop.

"You've been writing that bullshit for hours," Jack rolled his eyes. "You live in a poor neighborhood, if you never got a full-ride you'd be working at a mini-mart your whole life, and you can't even afford a jug of OJ some weeks. If that's not inequality I don't know what is."

"If it's so easy, you write it." She crossed her arms and stared at him.

"Alright." He said and Jack crawled down to the floor. "I'm going to write this and you're going to learn how to play guitar."

"It's four pages, Jack."

He picked up on of her crumpled essays on the floor and flattened it out. "Now it's two."

She shook her head and took his place on the couch, picking up his guitar. "I know how to play a G major that's about it."

"Shh," Jack hushed her. "I'm writing."

Valerie let her eyes roll.

Jack was always good at English, he had to be to write his music with any substance. He also was good at History so she trusted him with this essay even if he was a little rusty, not being in school for two years almost.

The essay Jack picked up was one on racial inequality. She had two pages written on it but stopped there. She knew a lot about it, she had to. But she never experienced it. She was white trash from Detroit, classism and sexism she understood but that just seemed too personal. Jack was writing crazily on the paper. He had two black brothers, Jack knew how they could be treated. It probably made Jack angry as hell to think about, since those were his brothers and he didn't view them any different from him, but he had definitely seen somethings.

Stef was mixed, he was half-Latino but you couldn't really tell. Stef's mom, Mariana, was from Colombia. She got her citizenship when she married their dad, a native to Detroit. Valerie's mom's name was Andrea. She was from some place in Pennsylvania and was probably there now. That's all Valerie knew, her mom had left when Stef was born. Stef was born out of an affair and Valeries mom couldn't handle knowing that Valerie shared half her DNA with a cheater or something like that. It was screwed up.

Jack finished in half the time it would've taken Valerie and other than a few grammar mistakes, it was an acing mark. Those didn't even matter because she still had to go to the library tomorrow and type it up.

"Okay, now pick up the guitar, Val."

She picked it up. "I didn't think you were serious."

"I'm always serious."

She gave him a look.

"You know what I mean. Now let's teach you something easy," Jack paused to think of a song. "Wonderful Tonight. It's one of the easiest."

Her fingers burned. She didn't have the thick callouses Jack had from playing guitar every day for years. They were an hour in to Jack's lesson and she still did everything squeaky and off-tempo.

"I'm really not getting this. I can't find the rhythm. Do you have a CD or anything?"

Jack shook his head no.

She sighed. "Then I'm just hopeless."

"How can you be this musically challenged when Stef's one of the greatest in town?"

"I don't know! Stef must have gotten his music skills from his mom."

Jack looked up from the guitar to look at her. "You mean Mariana isn't your mom? You're kidding."

Valerie's brows furrowed. "You didn't know? How do you think Stef and I were only two months apart? What, did you think Mariana popped me out and then saved Stef for later?"

"I don't know," Jack raised his hands in defense. "I've never thought that much into it! Stef never called you his half-sister or anything so I just thought..."

Her eyes narrowed. "Do you call Evelyn your adoptive mom? Do you call Bobby your adoptive brother? Angel? Jeremiah?"

"No, you're right. I get your point." Jack said. "Sorry."

"It's all good," said Valerie. "Now, c'mon, teach me the song."

He tried to teach her some more but it didn't seem to go anywhere until he started singing for her. Valerie didn't understand the strumming until he did. Her chord-switching was still slow and staggering but she managed to make it somewhat sound like Wonderful Tonight with Jack singing it for her. Jack sounded beautiful, she loved his raspy voice in slow songs. Detroit Vandals didn't have many of those, maybe five or six, but they were her favourite ones to here. Loving Won't Leave Me Alone was obviously one of those. She wished they would make more but for right now hearing him sing the lyrics to Wonderful Tonight to her was enough.

"I love your voice." Valerie said unable to hold it back. "I know I make fun of you all the time but I really do love to hear you sing."

"Don't go all mushy on me." He said but he had leaned closer to her, their faces _just_ not touching and he was staring at her in a way that made her face feel hot.

"I'm not." Her eyes flickered down his lips. They were chapped and rough. They'd probably feel just like his hands had against her skin while they played. Tough, but warm and inviting.

Maybe she was getting all mushy on him. But she wouldn't make the next move that she could tell Jack was waiting for her to make. She could hear every breath he took and she could hear her own heart pounding.

Valerie needed to move away. Cole and her had something good going on - she thought. She always did this though. She got something good and always ruined it. She didn't know what to do with boys like Cole.

She faked a cough and sprung back from Jack.

"Thanks for the help with the essay and everything. I think I'm gonna go to bed."

Jack didn't even look at her again. He just stared at the television. "Anytime. Goodnight."

Valerie let out a heavy breath when she shut her bedroom door. She felt like she hadn't breathed since almost kissing Jack.

She had no clue what the fuck she was doing. They had just become friends and of course she had to mess that all up by dry humping him on the dance floor and trying to make-out with him on the couch. Not to mention if she _did_ do that she was cheating on her newfound boyfriend of only three days. Valerie was a mess.

 _Maybe I was just reading too far into it_ , she tried to convince herself. It was vain of her to just assume Jack was into her. But she had felt the tension in that moment even if it was all one-sided. That made her feel guilty. She didn't cheat but she _wanted_ to and it wasn't even a week in.

Valerie needed to get a hold of herself. Whatever happened, she needed to ignore it.


	7. Chapter 7

**OKAY SO LAME CHAPTER BUT NECESSARY**

* * *

 _you are not who you've been_

* * *

 **CHAPTER SEVEN**

Valerie woke up to the sun bouncing off the white walls and an arm around her torso. Cole didn't have curtains because he liked to walk up early and his place was so high up privacy wasn't an issue. Valerie had an issue though, with the sun.

"Good morning, Valerie." Cole said in his rough morning voice. He had just woken up and was rubbing his eyes.

"Morning, Cole." She gave him a small peck.

She couldn't even believe herself. After her incident with Jack, she snuck out of the house when he had gone to bed and made her way to Cole's to seduce him. Valerie in a fucked up way thought she owed him that after feeling something for Jack. She thought it would make her feel better but instead she felt even grosser. She felt like a hoe or something.

His hands traced down her bare body. "I had fun last night," he mumbled into her neck.

Valerie laughed and pulled away. "Me too."

She rolled over and pulled the blanket with her so she wasn't exposed. Valerie bent down to grab her clothes and quickly put them on.

"I gotta head home and get ready for school," she said. "Call me later?"

"I sure will," Cole smiled. "See you, Valerie."

Valerie tried to be as quiet as possible as she creeped back into her apartment. It was six in the morning and it wouldn't be normal for Jack to be up yet and she definitely did not want to wake him up. He would know that she had been out all night if he saw her and she would bet he could easily guess why.

The first thing Valerie did was grab a shower and throw her clothes to the laundry so nothing would seem odd if Jack did wake up. She didn't know why she was trying so hard.

When she left the bathroom, Jack was in the kitchen.

"What's for breakfast?" Valerie tried to make it appear that she wasn't awkward as hell.

Jack just pointed to the box next to him. "Cereal."

He poured up a second bowl and handed it to her.

Awkward. But Valerie was glad didn't say something like 'so about last night…' or another variation. She'd like to believe there was nothing about last night.

They ate their cereal in silence.

Valerie picked up Jamie on her way to school. Valerie didn't have many friends, she always tried to distance herself but Jamie was the closest thing she had to one.

Jamie was unnaturally quiet as they drove through the neighborhood, she just stared out the window. She didn't even react when 50 Cent's _Candy Shop_ came on the radio. And anyone that knew Jamie knew that was one of her favourite songs to jam to.

"You okay?" Valerie asked worriedly.

Jamie ignored it. "Do you ever think the D is ever gonna make its comeback like everyone says? Look at it. Empty houses and empty streets. Seems like bullshit to me."

"What happened?" Valerie knew Jamie wouldn't just spout this crap out of nowhere.

Jamie's eyes were watery and she pursed her lips. "You know Victor Sweet?"

Valerie nodded. She never met the guy but his name was passed around a lot. Everything attached to Sweet's name was heavy. Gang stuff.

"What about him?"

"My brother, Darrell," Jamie's voice broke. "He's sort of working with him. I don't know. I never thought… I tried to keep him out of all that shit."

Valerie took a hand off the wheel to squeeze Jamie's. "I'm so sorry."

Valerie really was sorry. Valerie was lucky that Stef never got messed up in any of the hard crimes around here because it would be very easy for him to do so. The only time Stef got hauled in was when he tried to rob three cases of beer from a corner store. Stupid as hell but not serious. Other than that, the biggest criminal in her life was probably Bobby. He was always getting locked up back in the day. He was probably locked up right now. Nobody had seen him in forever.

Valerie handed in Jack's essay to her sociology professor and ended up blowing off her last class to go home. She never used any of her absences the whole time she had been in that university, she figured she could afford it. She just couldn't get Darrel off her mind. He was only freshly eighteen. He shouldn't be in a gang like Sweet's.

Evelyn Mercer always told all the kids in their neighborhood that Detroit was on the rebound. She was so hopeful that it would make a comeback even Valerie started to believe it. People like Sweet poked holes in that hope until all she had were doubts.

She thought about maybe going to see Evelyn but going alone seemed too weird. Evelyn said Valerie was welcome any time but without Jack or Stef, Valerie never had before. _Screw it_ , she thought. She made a U and headed towards the Mercer's.

Valerie was greeted by a smiling Evelyn after she knocked. "Twice in one month, Valerie? Am I dying or something?"

Valerie laughed. "I hope not."

She didn't jump right in and tell Evelyn why she was stressed, instead she listened to the gossip the woman had to tell her.

Evelyn was hooking up with some lawyer guy and seemed pretty happy about it. She also talked quite a bit about the kids in the neighborhood she was helping. She thought she was making a change, the exact thing Valerie had doubts about.

"You actually think Detroit is gonna get better, Evelyn?"

"I know it is," she said. "But what's this about?"

"You think a kids got a shot and he's gonna make it out because he's been nothing but supported but then he goes and does the complete opposite and joins in with the exact shit that's ruining this city further."

Evelyn's brows knitted together. "This isn't about my Jack is it?"

"God no," Valerie said hurriedly. "It's my friends brother."

"There's always gonna be bad things happening, Valerie. But I truly believe one day the good will outweigh the bad. People are gonna get sick of those forgein cars, trust me. Then we'll have so much money. Then things will get better."

"I'm not from Detroit myself but I stay because I see the potential."

Valerie still had doubts but it was refreshing to hear a positive outlook. That's all she really needed right now.

"Stay for supper would you? It's still weird eating by myself."

Valerie agreed and Evelyn pulled a hashbrown casserole out of the oven. Supper for her before Jack came along was TV dinners and cheap take out. Jack got all his skills from Evelyn so eating at her place was delightful.

She ate and helped Evelyn clean the dishes. Evelyn then told her she was going to see her lawyer friend again so Valerie headed home.

"You tell my Jack to come see me, alright? I miss his pretty face." Evelyn said as Valerie was leaving.

"Put that damn thing out, Jack. You know you can't smoke in here."

He was standing in the kitchen, frying something on the stove but a cigarette was hanging lazily in his fingers.

"You're home late."

"I had supper at your moms. She says she misses you." Valerie said, laying her stuff down. "Put the cigarette out, Jack. It's against my lease."

Jack threw the cigarette in the sink.

"Thank you."


	8. Chapter 8

**I picture Jack as a total dick but like a Nice Dick I love Jack**

* * *

 _she never gives in, she just changes her mind_

* * *

 **CHAPTER EIGHT**

It was like a flashback. Valerie came home from the diner to men and women's clothing scattered on the floor. Why Jack couldn't just keep his business in his own room, Valerie had no idea. She picked it all up and tossed it outside his door. Valerie wondered if this poor girl was going to have to climb down the fire escape, too.

Valerie put her tape of Basic Instinct into the VHS player and spent about ten minutes rewinding the damn thing until she was at the beginning. The next thing she was going to save up for was definitely a DVD player. Jack had one but it was in his room. There was no way she was venturing in there right now. She turned the volume up on blast to drown out Jack's activities.

The volume almost drowned out the knock on the door.

Gina stood on the other side of the doorway. Valerie had the urge to slam it but she knew Stef would kill her.

"Hi," Gina said. She was tipping back and forth on her heels and when they made eye contact, Gina bit her lip.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come to dinner at our place tomorrow night," Gina's eyes flashed down to her hand. Valerie didn't miss the shiny ring on her finger. "It's going to be special and Stef would want you there."

Valerie took a step back. "Don't tell me. You're engaged, aren't you?"

Sheepishly, Gina replied. "Stef wanted to tell you himself."

"Should've took the ring off then," Valerie snapped then instantly regretted it. "I'm sorry. I'll come to your dinner."

"Thanks. Stef will appreciate it."

Valerie slammed the door when Gina left.

"Is Stef a fucking idiot?" She screamed to herself. "He can't even legally drink and he's getting married! He's nineteen years old for another two months and he's getting married. Goddamn idiot."

She threw herself back down on the couch and tried to watch the movie but all she could feel was anger. She had to let it all out now, too. If she said anything at the dinner tomorrow, Stef would have her head. Valerie couldn't believe she had to pretend to agree with his bullshit.

"Could you be quieter?" Jack poked his head out of his bedroom door. "You're interrupting."

All her rambling had disrupted Jack. _Good_.

"No." She said plainly.

"Whatever." Jack shut his door again.

Jack's door opened again a little while later; only a hand made it out, to grab all the clothes. Then both him and some girl Valerie had never seen before entered the living room.

The girl saw Valerie and looked worried. "Is that your girlfriend?" She whispered.

Jack nodded, whispering back. "She is. But don't worry she's blind."

Valerie bit her lip to keep from laughing.

The girls eyes widened in horror. "You cheated on your blind girlfriend, you're sick. But if she's blind why is she watching a movie?"

"So if she wasn't blind, it'd be okay?" Jack sounded confused. "And she can hear, she's blind, not Helen Keller."

"Oh." The girl's voice dropped back to a whisper.

Jack saw the girl off with a peck goodbye. So much for that girl caring about the poor blind girlfriend being cheated on.

He tried to walk past Valerie but she called out to him.

"Why do you always have to drag me into this stuff, Jack? Can't I just be your roommate? Do you have some sick fetish about cheating that you just wanna play out?"

"It's funnier."

"You're crazy."

Jack walked back to the fridge and cracked open a beer. "Maybe. But _I_ wasn't the one out here screaming to himself earlier. What happened, your boyfriend break up with you or something?"

"No," she crossed her arms, her eyes becoming slits. "Stef and Gina are engaged."

Jack almost dropped his beer.

 **X X X**

Valerie and Jack attended the dinner together, for moral support. Both of them were one hundred and ten percent against this engagement.

The rest of the Vandals were there, too. Eli and Austin didn't look too happy either.

The rest of the people Valerie didn't really recognize. Jeremiah showed up. Everybody else must have been invited by Gina.

Jack grinned at the sight of his brother, pulling him in for one of those one-sided, back-patting hugs.

"What's up, Jerry?"

Jerry shrugged. "You know, same old. Takin' care of the wife and kids. How about you, little brother?"

Stef hated when Valerie called him baby brother. It seemed like Jack felt the same about being called little brother.

"Nothing, really. Just been playin' with the band. We've actually got fans now."

"Good on you."

Gina and Stef were setting the table and getting the supper prepared. It was like they were already married. Valerie could actually picture them ten years from now. In a shitty house, two kids, and Stef's bands days long behind him. She hated the picture.

"Hello, everybody." Gina smiled. "I'm sure you all know why you're here but if you don't – it's because Stef and I are engaged!"

A few people cheered. A couple people whistled. They were all Gina's friends.

"This is some bullshit." Jack said into her ear.

"For real." Valerie glared at the scene in front of her. "I can't believe they'd do this, on my birthday, too."

"What? You're joking, it's not your birthday. I'd know"

"It is," she said. "October 30th, 1985. I guess Stef forgot. Here's to being twenty."

"What about that Cole guy? I bet he's taking you out somewhere after this."

"Nope." She said. "He doesn't know."

"Your brother and your boyfriend both not with you on your birthday," Jack shook his head. "What assholes."

"Stef's definitely an asshole but like I said, Cole doesn't know. I didn't want to make a big deal of it."

Jack smirked. "Which is code for you didn't want Rich Guy to buy you something fancy. But still, let's get out of here. Stef can't be mad. He forgot your birthday."

Jack took her to the same bar as before. Valerie suggested ElectriK but Jack said there were too many snobs. She probably should have said no: her drinking with Jack got her into trouble last time, all her own fault but it was still trouble.

"Jack," Valerie said as soon as they walked in. She turned around so her back was facing the bar. "That girl from last night is here. She's gonna know you lied about me being blind."

Jack glanced at the bar and cursed. "Here take my sunglasses."

He handed her his blacked-out Ray Bans rip offs and she put them on. She actually felt blind with them on; the already dim bar was almost completely dark with them over her eyes.

"This is so stupid." Valerie whined. "This is why you shouldn't lie."

"Shut up and pretend to be blind."

"So rude," Valerie said, letting out a huff. "I don't want to it's wrong and offensive to those who-"

Jack pulled her along with him to the bar where the girl was sitting without letting her finish. Valerie didn't know how to pretend to be blind and she couldn't do it without feeling guilty - so she would just slip on the sunglasses and call it a day at being the jealous girlfriend who liked to wear sunglasses at night.

"Hi, Jessica." Jack greeted last night's fling.

Valerie sniffed at him. "Who's Jessica? Is she the bartender? Can I have an apple martini?"

Jessica looked like she wanted to get up and run but she stayed firmly in her bar stool, glaring daggers at Jack.

"No she's not the bartender, darling, she's a friend," Jack said in this sickly sweet voice, one you would use if you thought someone was an imbecile. Valerie wondered if he actually talked to his dates like that. "But I'll order you that apple martini."

"Thanks," Valerie said snottily. "But who's this Jessica? Is she some girl you're screwing? Jacky, are you cheating on me again?"

"No, I'm his – therapist," Jessica stared down Jack, silently pleading for back up. "Right, Jack?"

His therapist. That was rich. Jack wouldn't see a therapist in his life, even if he probably needed to.

"Therapist?" Valerie shrieked. The whole bar turned to look at them. Valerie pretended not to notice, having to stay in character of the jealous woman. "Why are you seeing a therapist, Jacky? Is it because you can't deal with me? You are so shallow sometimes."

An apple martini was placed in her hands by Jack and she took a sip before continuing. "I don't even know why I'm with you. There's plenty of people in this world who would respect _me_ and not cheat on me and definitely not see a therapist behind my back!"

"I know what therapist means, Jack. I know how you really relieve all that _stress_."

The girl, Jessica, looked like she felt guilty as hell and Valerie almost did, too, for playing with her but Valerie was much too wrapped up with it now.

Jessica slid off the bar stool, looking completely mortified. "I'm just going to go… have a nice night…"

As soon as the door swung behind Jessica, Valerie was cackling. Full on ugly ass cackling escaping her.

"I feel so bad," she said, panting. The laughing had knocked the wind out of her. "I should not have done that. I bet she feels terrible."

Valerie flicked off the sunglasses and placed them back on the top of Jack's head. It was disorientating to get used to how much brighter the bar actually was with them off.

"You were so great." Jack tried to say with a straight face. "Thanks for helping me not get caught."

They both ended up roaring with laughter, Jack's straight face couldn't hold up very long, she felt like she was convulsing she was laughing so hard. Jack tried to take a sip of his beer and ended up spitting it everywhere. Which they thought was even funnier. Her ribs and torso _ached_.

"While this was a riot," Valerie said after forcing herself to calm down. "Please do not drag me into anymore of your girl drama."

"Happy birthday, Val!" Jack cheered, ignoring what she said on purpose.

The two of them drank until it was no longer her birthday.


	9. Chapter 9

I literally always forget to update this

* * *

 _got an old smiths' record and I put it on endlessly._

 _to mourn a lethal fascination of a girl named valerie_

* * *

 **CHAPTER NINE**

 _"_ _Hey, Valerie. It's dad. Hoping you can drop by today and pick up the rest of your things. I need to clear out your room. Mariana and I will be home all day. Thanks."_

Unbelievable. Valerie had been moved out nine months and they were already getting rid of her room. She would bet money that Stef's room was still perfectly intact in case he needed some place to fall back on. But Valerie had to go pick up all her things.

She didn't want to. She hadn't been home since she moved out.

Valerie deleted the message.

The next message on her machine was from Stef.

 _"_ _I saw you and Jack sneak off last night. I know you guys don't want me to do this but you could at least pretend to support me. Seriously."_

She deleted that one, too. The next message was from Stef again.

 _"_ _Oh fuck. Tonight was your birthday. Forget everything I said. I love you."_

That one got a chuckle out of her.

"Stef's really kissing ass in that one. That's the only time he throws that word around."

Jack stumbled into her view.

"Well he's got a lot of sucking up to do so he has to come on strong."

Jack said something else but Valerie was lost in her head. She had to go pick up all her things at her dads house and she really didn't want to go alone. She was too embarrassed to call Cole; she didn't want him to see her old place and the way her old man got on. She couldn't call Stef because he would just start a fight with their dad. He hated how their dad treated her.

She cut Jack off mid-sentence. She wasn't even sure what he had been saying. "Will you come to my dads with me? I gotta pick up some things."

Jack yawned, stretching out. "I just got up and was thinking about going back to bed. Can't you ask someone else? Maybe your boyfriend?"

Valerie bit down on her lip. "I don't want to ask him."

"Why not?"

"I don't want him to see..." How she grew up. How her dad treated her like a second class citizen in her own home. That her step-mom was a drunk. Jack didn't know half of that stuff either but at least she knew he wouldn't cower and run away.

"I get it. You're embarrassed of where you're from because he's some high class douchebag. If he doesn't like you for the white trash you are-" Valerie gave him a look, daring him to finish that. "Fine. I'm gonna go get ready."

Valerie walked up the front steps to her old house and wanted to run back down them. The only thing that stopped her was the fact Jack was behind her, blocking her in.

She didn't knock, the both of them just stepped in. Mariana and her dad were both sat at the kitchen table having breakfast. Mariana had a coffee but there was a flask of rum beside her, there was no doubt in Valerie's mind that a whole lot of that flask was poured in her morning drink. Mariana was a sweet woman, she just had a booze problem. He dad was buttering toast; he didn't even look up when they came in.

Mariana did. "Dennis, Val's here."

Her dad nodded. Mariana sighed.

"Val, I wanted to tell you if you want to keep your room, you can. I can put my work out stuff somewhere else."

It was a nice gesture but Valerie shook her head. She knew her dad would freak out at her if she didn't go get her things and let Mariana take over Valerie's bedroom for Mariana's precious work out room.

"It's fine. I got my own place."

"See, I told you she wouldn't give a shit," her dad finally looked up at her and it was to screw up his face. "Who's that guy behind you? Your boyfriend?"

"It's Jack, dad. Stef's best friend."

Her dad still didn't seem any more pleased with her answer. "I don't see Stef. Why's he here with you?"

Valerie didn't roll her eyes but she wanted to.

"I'm her roommate, Mr. Beaumont," Jack chinned in. "She said she might need a hand moving some things so I told her I'd help."

All that sounded way too polite to be coming out of Jack Mercer's mouth.

"That true?" Valerie gave her dad a nod. "It ain't classy for a girl to be movin' in with some guy before she's married."

In her head, Valerie laughed to herself. Because her father was the epitome of classy. He had two kids: one from his girlfriend that he planned on leaving and another from an affair. Such a classy guy.

"You also shouldn't be foolin' around with the scum around here. Those boys will get you nowhere but dead ends and six feet under."

Valerie had enough. She grabbed Jack and pulled him up the staircase. Her dad hadn't come right out and say it but it had been implied. Her dad had called Jack scum.

When they were in her room, Valerie shut the door.

"I'm sorry for that. You're not scum, Jack."

Jack shrugged and started throwing some of her things in the boxes her dad had set up. "It's nothing, Val. He was way more of a dick to you."

"That's why I wanted to take you. I knew you could handle it."

It was silent for a while, they just packed up the boxes. Everything she left here was small. Stuffed animals, posters, CDs, and various pictures of her friends. She didn't even need all of it but she wasn't going to stay here longer to sort through it.

"Why is he like that with you?" Jack said suddenly. "He always seemed right on when Stef was around."

"He just doesn't like me," said Valerie quietly. "I'm some bastard child that doesn't belong in his eyes. I remind him of how he fucked up."

Jack's mouth opened but he closed it again. He looked unsure if he should say what was on his mind or not. "But what about your mom?"

Valerie laughed humourlessly. "She's not around. Left me when I was a baby when she found out about Stef. She didn't want to be reminded that my dad had cheated on her."

Jack turned around. He didn't utter and word and only his back was facing her. She thought maybe she said something wrong. She never asked about Jack's childhood. Stef knew about it and all he ever told her was it was bad. Maybe she sounded whiney. Valerie did have a house over her head her whole life; something Jack couldn't say for himself.

Jack picked up as many boxes as he could and headed downstairs. Valerie picked up what was left and followed him.

"You got everything?" Her dad said gruffly when she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"I think so. I don't care," she said. "Throw out whatever's left."

"Ungrateful." He muttered under his breath.

Mariana followed Valerie out on to the porch. Mariana shut the door behind her.

"Valerie?" Mariana's voice sounded strange. Maybe she was drunker than usual. "It gets too quiet. I miss Stef. Tell him to come see his mama alright?"

That was the second mother that asked Valerie to tell their son to come see them. She would tell Stef. Valerie didn't enjoy being in that house but she knew Stef did. He had to, he had all the attention.

Valerie smiled. "See you, Mariana."

Jack had already loaded all his boxes into the truck. Valerie's wouldn't fit so she threw them in the back seat. Jack sat in the passenger seat waiting for her.

"I always thought you had it easy, a real mom, a real dad, a real brother, you were born with a stable house over your head, I was always jealous..." Jack trailed off. "Evelyn was my second chance but I'd always wished she was my first. But you don't even have a mom and you're dad's a dick. I can't fucking believe I was jealous of _that_?"

"Thanks?" Valerie tried not to sound offended.

"Not what I mean," Jack said quickly. "It's just I got and second chance so maybe I was luckier than I thought."

"I don't feel like I belong there ya know?" Valerie said. "It was always Stef they loved. Mariana's always been decent to me but she never acted like a mom. My dad hasn't acted like much of a dad, either. I _felt_ like a foster kid in there. Someone temporary, expendable. Stef always tried to include me but it didn't help."

"Screw them, then," Jack's voice raised. "Fuck them. You don't need them. You're gonna get somewhere without them."

"You've got people who care about you, Val," Jack said. Valerie looked away. "You've got Stef, you've got me."

"You care about me?"

Jack stayed silent. Valerie thought maybe she intimidated him.

"You wanna know how out band got our name?"

Valerie nodded.

"Remember that old house just down the block from mine? It had been deemed unsafe and abandoned but the demolition date had been pushed ahead so many times the damn thing had been forgotten about. Ashley and I used to sneak in there and screw."

Valerie almost rolled her eyes at the mention of Ashley. Ashley was the worst thing that ever happened to Jack; he became a total different person when she was in his life. Ashley was a wreck herself. Bobby thought she would get Jack hooked on speed or something, like she was. He didn't, he didn't even dabble. Valerie wanted to make a snotty comment about Jack's ex but decided on keeping her mouth shut. She wanted to see where his story was going to go.

"I went there alone one night after Ashley had gone home, it was really late but I thought that's where I had left my watch. That's when I caught you," they locked eyes and Jacks lips twitched. "You had bottles of spray paint, stencils, and brushes scattered all around the floor and you were making this mural. It was just of Detroit but you didn't try to embellish it, it was so real. Everything was raw and run down like it actually is."

"In these bold letters you had 'may have fallen but will rise' and I just loved it. God damn, it made me feel something. You didn't even notice me. You were so concentrated. I've seen more of your work later on, I could just tell when things were yours, and when the boys were suggesting names I just kept thinking of your stuff but I couldn't think of anything to match it. We were The Spades for about three weeks but then it came to me. Then birthed the Detroit Vandals."

Valerie was speechless. Nobody knew about her street art or rather, she hadn't thought anybody had. Valerie thought the boys just came up with the name because it sounded edgy. She had even made a joke of it many times.

"I can't believe you knew..." She said just above a whisper. "But why name it after me?"

"Your art represented something," Jack said. "I wanted our music to do that. Mean something, create a message."

The Detroit Vandals no longer sounded cheesy to Valerie. She felt the sensation to cry but she couldn't in front of him. Instead, she let herself smile.


	10. Chapter 10

**Song: The Maine, Taxi because their new album is GREAT**

* * *

 _we were only two punch drunk souls all tangled in the wind_  
 _and in the backseat_  
 _when you asked me "is the sadness everlasting?"_  
 _I pulled you closer, looked at you and said "love, I think it is"_

* * *

 **CHAPTER TEN**

"Valerie, wake the fuck up."

Valerie rubbed her eyes and groaned. Jack leaned over her bed looking way too excited for – Valerie turned to look at her alarm clock – eight a.m.

"Why what's happening? A fire? Did someone die?"

Jack shook his head. "Eli called me. The Detroit Vandals are going on a U.S. wide tour."

Valerie sat up at that. "Are you kidding? That's amazing!"

"We're opening up for another local band from the D but still it's so much more exposure," Jack smirked. "I'm going to have so many _fans_."

By _fans_ Valerie knew Jack meant groupies. Also known as: girls who will have sex with him just because he's in a band and has a hot raspy voice. A Jack Mercer heaven.

"When are you guys leaving?" Valerie said.

"Next week."

"I'm so proud of you guys," she said. "But you're still paying your rent while you're gone or I'm going to have to replace you."

"That's all you have to say? You're such a bitch." Jack was laughing as he said that and it seemed contagious because she joined in.

"Just let me _sleeeep_." She drawled out, tugging the covers over her head.

"Fine. But we're going out to celebrate tonight. You can bring your boy-toy if you want."

They ended up going to ElectriK. Cole reluctantly came along with her. He felt uneasy about meeting all her friends at once. The rest of their crew was just the Detroit Vandals and Gina. Valerie almost didn't want to see Stef or Gina since they last time she saw them they had gotten engaged and Stef had forgotten her birthday.

Austin splurged on a bottle of champagne and popped it open, letting it spray all over them. Everyone was radiating with excitement except for Gina. She hung back from the action and just sat there silently. It was unusual, even Valerie, who always tried not to hang around Gina as much as possible, knew that Gina was constantly the life of the party.

Valerie cursed herself for caring.

"You alright, Gina?"

Words flowed from Gina's mouth like a waterfall. "It's just I know what Stef was like before me and he's gonna be gone so long and we just got engaged. Now we have to put off the wedding and you don't think he'd screw around on me do you?"

"Slow down, girl," Valerie said, almost flustered. "You don't gotta worry about Stef. He's never been serious about a girl, he's never said I love you until you. You got nothing to worry about."

"Thanks, Valerie," Gina said. "I know you don't like me so that was really sweet of you –"

Valerie cut her off before she could get anymore sappy and make Valerie regret being nice in the first place. "Go have fun, Gina."

Jack stood behind Valerie when she turned around. His brows raised at her. "That was _very_ mature. Is Bratty Vally growing up?"

 _Bratty Vally_ is what Stef and Jack used to call her when they were ten. She liked to snitch and blackmail back then. If they didn't let her join in to whatever they were doing or didn't let her get her way, she'd go rat on them to Evelyn. She hadn't heard that nickname in ages, occasionally Stef would use it to irritate her. Apparently, Stef and Jack have very similar ideas.

"Screw off, Jack."

He raised his arms. "Fine, I know when I'm not wanted."

Valerie found her way back to Cole who looked as miserable as Gina had.

"Hey," she smiled at him.

He gave her a nod. "You and Jack seem close."

He pointed across the room at where Jack was standing and where she had been standing a moment ago. Jack's head was thrown back in laughter at what someone had said and some girl was starting to approach him. Girls really followed him around. Despite his punk exterior, Jack was an approachable guy. He always made people feel welcome by including them in a joke or making sure they weren't left out of the loop. It was something special about him.

Valerie looked back at Cole. "I've known Jack since I was eight, we were babies then. He's my roommate. We're, I'd say, _civil_ at best but after all that time you kinda gotta be."

"You're right. Makes sense."

She felt bad for brushing off his concerns when maybe there was something _to_ them but she had to repress that even from her own mind.

"Look, I'm gonna go because I have an early rise in the morning." Cole said. "But have a good night."

He leaned down to brush his lips against hers.

"Goodnight, Cole."

Valerie joined the group again. They were in the midst of discussing what their first stop was. It was New York. She felt a bit of envy towards the boys at that. She wanted to go to New York so bad. They were going to be gone for Christmas. Valerie didn't know what she was going to do all on her own for the holidays. She spent every single one in her life alongside Stef. Stef was even going to miss his 20th birthday.

"You can spend Christmas with Ma," Jack offered half-seriously, half-jokingly. "She's gonna miss my pretty face. Someone needs to keep her company."

That's probably what she was going to end up doing. Though, Evelyn would most likely be going to Jeremiah's.

She had been so excited for her brother and Jack that she forgot a tour meant that they would actually be leaving. Now she knew why Gina had been so down.

"We get a break for Thanksgiving, though," Jack said, smiling. She could see how happy he was about this opportunity. It was practically radiating off him. "So don't miss me too much."

She scoffed. "As if."

"What happened to that guy you're seeing?" Stef asked her, pushing between her and Jack, and throwing an arm over her shoulder. "He didn't even meet me. You know he's gotta get my approval but he ran off without it."

Valerie held back a grin. "He doesn't need nothing from you."

"Damn right he don't. You tell him he has to meet me next time."

"I'll be sure to tell him."

She wasn't going to.

Stuffing a drunk Jack into the car was hard. Pulling a drunk Jack up a flight of stairs and into their apartment was harder. Valerie was just happy he wasn't complete dead weight, he was still _trying_ to move along with her.

"I think Jack drank too much Jack." Jack groaned as he threw himself on his bed. He didn't even change or get under the covers, he couldn't, he was out the second his head hit the pillow.

Valerie sighed and pulled a blanket out of his closet to throw over him.

"I think Jack drank too much of everything." Valerie said quietly, backing out of Jack's room.

 **XXX**

Valerie stood in the archway of Jack's room watching him pack his things into a dufflebag. Or rather, shove things messily into his bag.

"I can't believe you guys leave in three days," she said to him. "What am I supposed to do here by myself?"

Jack zipped up the dufflebag, one of many, and turn to her. He flashed her a grin and wiped away the stray hairs that had fallen into his face with the back of his hand.

"No idea," he said, shrugging. "Probably bore yourself to death with that lame boyfriend of yours."

Valerie folded her arms. "He's not lame. He's _nice_ , Jack."

"So you keep saying," Jack stopped as if he was pondering a thought. "In fact, that's the only thing you say about him. He's _nice_. He's boring. Face it."

Valerie kept her mouth shut.

"You know I'm right," he laughed. "You just won't admit it."

She glared at Jack. "He's a gentlemen. You'd know nothing about that."

Jack looked more offended than he should have. If Valerie hadn't heard the words leave her lips, she would have thought Jack had just been handed the worst insult of his life.

"I know plenty about being a gentlemen, alright?" He said pointing to himself. "Evelyn Mercer is my mom, in case you forgot. I just save it for people who deserve it."

"And I don't?"

He smirked. "No, definitely not."

"You're a dick." Valerie chuckled.

He shrugged at her again. "Don't dish shit out if you can't take it."

Valerie rolled her eyes and stepped out of his room. She could hear the footsteps behind her, meaning he was following.

"Maybe I'll rent out your room." She said when she reached the kitchen. "I don't like living alone."

"You better suck it up because I don't want anybody touching my shit."

Valerie laughed. She imagined renting it out to one of his few groupies and call it 'The Jack Mercer Experience'. She would be bound to make a lot of cash from an idea like that.

She grabbed a cereal bowl from the cupboard and poured some Frosted Flakes and milk into it.

"What are you doing?" Jack scrunched up his face, staring at her bowl. "It's supper."

" _Oh_ ," she said dramatically. "I'm just getting used to what it's gonna be like when you're gone. I don't cook. I might starve while you're away for so long."

Jack just shook his head. "Now, I just feel bad. You're helpless without me."

She didn't miss his smug smile. "I can make cereal and a mean ham and cheese plus McDonald's is always just around the corner."

"Disgusting."

Her brother leaving was bad enough - they hadn't been separated for more than a couple days before this. But Jack leaving as well was going to make Valerie feel extremely alone. Even though he annoyed the shit out of her and always had a random array of girls in and out of the apartment, he was company. Now everyday she would have to come home to an empty apartment. She had t lied when she told him she hated being alone - she did. Not to forget how everyday she would be worried what trouble Stef would get into _with_ Jack.

"You okay?" Jack gave her a concerned glance.

"Yeah," she forced a smile. "I just haven't been left without Stef before or without a roommate. I don't know, it makes me feel crazy to be alone. It's stupid."

One time Stef went away for the weekend in high school and Valerie thought she might have a heart attack she was hyperventilating so bad. She just had this overwhelming unnecessary fear that whenever somebody went away, they might not come back. Ever since she could remember she had been like it.

"Nah, I get it, I kinda used to be the same when I was being shoved from foster home to foster home," Jack told her. "Look, I'll call you and I'll get Stef to call you every day. You'll be so annoyed you won't have time to be crazy."

Valerie was surprised at the response. She never expected him to care that much about her _feelings_ or even share something personal with her. It made her feel warm.

"Let's go do something fun." He changed the subject.

Valerie raised a brow. "Joe's?"

Jack nodded. "Joe's."

Joe's had become their thing and Valerie liked having some sort of tradition going with a friend. She had never been that close to anybody, she had friends but no _best_ friends. She always got suffocated if she let people in for long periods of time and then ultimately became closed off and shut them out. With Jack it was easy to let her guard down, maybe because she had known him so long.

Joe's blasted all the Top 40 hits Jack hated and Valerie secretly (or not so) loved. She wondered why he always came to this place when it bothered him so much what they played.

He hustled pool with a few random men he had chosen as his victims. Valerie had pulled over a stool to watch him in action and sipped on a sangria through a straw. Valerie had no idea how he was that good - she absolutely sucked. But Jack was in his element with a pool stick in his hand, leaning over the table. He had an amazing poker face, too. Except when he flashed her a smug smirk every time he won because they both knew his little secret.

Jack beat the two middle-aged men he had coerced into his trap and scored fifty bucks. Not a whole lot but a good amount.

"Beginners luck, I guess." Jack told the two men as he shoved dollar bills into his jeans. He sent a smirk her way just as she predicted he would and Valerie laughed quietly to herself. Beginners luck her ass.

The two men grunted and groaned, pissed about being down a few dollars but left without starting anything.

"You're terrible." She said, taking a sip of her drink to stop her lips from curling.

"I can't help I have _a lot_ of beginners luck," he shrugged, amused. "They don't have to play."

"You tell them that you pretty much suck at pool and they wanna play because they think they're gonna scam some young kid out of his money. That's not honest."

Jack didn't seem to care. "They wanna scam some young kid out of their money! Now tell me who's the bad guy here?"

Valerie narrowed her eyes at him. "Touché."

She never thought about that side of it.

"Maybe I should try to teach you again," Jack said, dragging another stool over to hers. "Then you can keep my legacy going while I'm gone."

"You're too good," she shook her head. "I can't even hit a ball half the time."

He chuckled. "I wish I could say that wasn't true but you're really shit at pool."

"You know what's weird," Valerie mused. "We've hung out our whole lives but we've never been friends until maybe now."

Jack nodded. "I wasn't allowed to be your friend. Not after I told Stef how hot you were," he stopped to let out a small laugh. "Plus Stef was a jealous bastard and hated the idea we'd like each other more than him. But now with Gina on his mind I don't think he gives a shit about us, hey?"

Valerie rolled her eyes. "I wish you were wrong. I used to see him multiple times a day and now I'm lucky if I see him once a week when he needs a ride."

"Same, what a bastard."

"Oh well," Valerie brushed it off. "You'll have him all to yourself on the road."

Jack paused for a moment and frowned. "You wanna know something?"

"What?"

"Gina's trying to scheme her way onto the tour bus."

Valerie laughed, she wouldn't put it past the girl. Gina was attached to Stef like an extra limb and she had been so upset at the going away party; she hoped Stef didn't give in. He was going to be married soon and then Gina would probably pop out a few kids and the band - and the boys - would be forgotten. He needed this last thing for himself.

"You guys are not gonna let her are you?"

"No, but she's on us all the time about it," Jack said, obviously frustrated with the situation. "I think Stef's gonna break down soon and ask us if we mind. He's whipped."

Valerie couldn't help but find the situation hilarious. She knew about Jack's disdain for his best friends girlfriend - she kicked him out of his and Stef's own apartment for starters - and Eli and Austin weren't her biggest fans either since she always messed with the band. Austin especially. If Gina joined them on their U.S. wide tour Valerie could vividly picture their uncomfortable and irritated faces.

"Austin must be pissed."

"He is, fucking furious," Jack nodded. "But Stef always lets her get her damn way so we'll see what happens."

Valerie eyed Jack with a smirk. "Is that a sore spot for you, Jack? Are you jealous?"

He grunted. "No. It's just bullshit."

"You're jealous," her mouth curled. "Somebody misses his best friend."

"Man, of course I do," he said defensively. "He was like my fourth brother."

"Does that make my your honorary sister?"

Jack met her eye and his face pinched up. "Hell no."

Valerie put a hand to her heart, pretending to be offended. "Why not?"

"Because," they locked gazes. "It wouldn't be right to have the hots for my sister."


	11. Chapter 11

**So, since I took forever to update last time, I decided to update twice in one week! This chapter is kinda a filler but still has some cute moments between Valerie and Jack, hope you enjoy! Lyrics: Banks, Waiting Game.**

* * *

Today was the day. Valerie stood on the curb outside her brother's apartment, a big ugly bus in front of her. The boys were piling the last of their bags into it. She watched with her arms crossed.

"Don't pout, Val." Her brother teased. "You'll see me in a couple weeks."

"For like a day." She whined. She didn't mean to but somehow her voice got strangled and came out that way.

He ruffled her hair and Valerie squirmed out of his touch, biting back a smile.

"Promise you'll call?"

"You know I will," he said seriously. "I'm gonna be worried about you too. You've never been this alone."

"Don't remind me." She said with a sigh.

Valerie glanced past her brother to a leather-clad back that was bent down, throwing a duffle bag into the bottom of the bus.

The bus driver poked out of the bus door and hollered that it was time to go. They had three minutes until they departed.

Gina burst into tears - Stef didn't let her join in on the tour; all the boys were relieved but Gina was a hot mess - and Stef glanced her way.

Valerie rolled her eyes though only because she didn't want to cry herself. "I'm gonna go say bye to Jack. Go to Gina."

Stef nodded and thanked her but she just waved him off and headed over to where she had spotted Jack just moments before.

They hadn't talked much since Joe's when he said something about having the hots for her. She had laughed it off as a joke at the bar but when they got home she had thought too deep about it. It was silly, probably a damn _joke_ , but something in her was excited by the thought of Jack being interested in her. Jack was hardly home the two days after because of practices and planning and when they did talk Valerie acted awkward as hell. She wanted to slap herself for it. She had never acted awkward around Jack in her whole life, she didn't want to start now because she was a bit flustered and confused.

"Hey." She said softly. "You just gonna leave without a goodbye?"

Jack cocked his head up to look at her and gave her a familiar grin, then pushed off his knees where he had been crouching to put away his bags to stand again. Soon, he went from being way below her to towering over her. It always slipped her mind how tall he was.

"Nah," he said. "Just saving the best for last."

"I'm sure," she shook her head. "Where's Evelyn?"

"She left just before you got here." Jack pointed to a smudged lipstick print on his left cheek. "See, left her mark."

"Cute." Valerie mused, admiring the lipstick adorning his face. "You're such a mama's boy."

"You know it."

The bus driver beeped the horn, signalling for all the boys to get on the bus.

"Guess that's your cue," she told him, pulling him in for a hug. "It kills me to tell you this but I'm gonna miss your punk ass."

"Oh, I already knew that, Val," his smirk took over his face. "But if it helps I'm gonna miss you too."

"You better," she said, giving him one last squeeze. "I already told Stef this and now I'm telling you, you better call me! I wanna know how you guys are doing."

"I will." He nodded. "See you Thanksgiving."

Then they were all gone. Jack ran up the steps to the bus and disappeared into behind the sliding door, Stef was already aboard. Valerie stepped over to Gina, who was blotchy and red-eyed, and waved at the boys as the bus pulled away. She wasn't even sure if they could see her - the windows were blacked out - but she didn't want to leave yet.

Soon the bus was in the far distance. Valerie said a polite goodbye to Gina and headed home to an empty apartment.

There was no smell of delicious food, no clothes scattered around the floor, or sound of electric guitar so loud it shook the walls. It was just silence. Eerie almost.

Valerie plopped down on the couch and eyed the telephone, willing it to ring. She wanted to go out and not be alone but she didn't know who to call. Cole, possibly. Maybe Jamie.

She dialled Jamie who quickly apologized and said she was just about to head off to work. She rang Cole, too. He said he was busy but she should come over to his place in an hour.

That hour went agonizingly slow as she was completely wrapped up in her thoughts. She wondered if the boys were safe, or if they reached their destination yet, and how their first concert was going to go. She wondered if Stef took his asthma medication or Jack took his sleeping pills. She was a mess - she felt like a mom who's kids just left for college.

She pressed Cole's buzzer for his apartment and waited for him to let her in. It was getting chilly outside and she felt a shiver go through her. She would have to break out her fall jacket, finally. It had been such a warm October but now November was a different story.

Cole let her in and greeted her with a small kiss which she returned.

"How are you?" He asked as they plopped down on the couch.

She shrugged, leaning into his chest. "Good, I guess. My brother just left and I think I miss him already."

She left out Jack.

Cole chuckled lightly. "He'll be home in three weeks. You'll be okay. Where's their first stop?"

"Cleveland." She told him. "Then Pittsburgh."

"It'll be a good experience for him. He's hardly been out of the D."

"We went to Toronto." Valerie said quietly. "When we turned 19. Because we were legal."

Cole laughed at that and she joined in. "You went that far for a bit of booze?"

"It was fun." She defended.

"I'm sure it was." Cole nodded.

That trip really had been fun. They all piled into Stef's car - her, Jack, Austin, and Eli. She had invited but Jamie but she couldn't book off work so it was just Valerie shoved into the mix with all the boys. Jack got shotgun, to her dismay. Valerie got the worst seat of them all. Backseat. Middle. All the boys claimed their legs were _much_ longer than hers and they deserved the leg room. She was five foot ten. So was Eli. But she didn't attempt to argue as she was wildly outnumbered.

It took four hours to get there. They could've stopped in any of the Canadian towns that popped up before Toronto and found somewhere to get a beer but they all agreed Toronto was the best destination. When they got there, Valerie was immediately in love with the city. She didn't know why. Some of the city bore a striking resemblance to Detroit but something about it was different. It felt lighter. Happier. They were free from their problems for a moment.

Valerie who really only tagged along to experience the trip rather than the alcohol, chugged a couple coolers and called it a night. Stef had been a different story. _Somebody_ forgot Canadian beer contained a little more booze and tried to drink his normal tolerance _and_ more. He ended up getting completely smashed and couldn't even walk to their hotel room. Jack and Valerie carried him two blocks and shoved him in the hotel elevator and somehow managed to get him in his own bed.

Jack, in the elevator, told her he was moving in with her. Her eyes must have bugged out of her head as she told him no way. He shrugged and told her that the decision had already been made - if she had problems with it, she would have to take them up with Stef as he was the one with the bright ideas. She had been so mad that night - she loathed the thought of Jack moving in with her. Now, she was sitting in her boyfriends house, sulking because Jack was gone and she didn't want to be alone. Turn of events.


	12. Chapter 12

**Is this a filler? You bet. Thanks for the reviews lovelies. Also won't let me add lyrics anymore so my life is crumbling lmao**

Stef didn't call her until the second day of the tour. They were in Pittsburgh and they didn't have a show until late so they were catching an early hockey game. The Penguins VS the Red Wings. She was extremely jealous to say the least and she let him know that.

Stef laughed. "I'll bring you back a jersey."

She folded her arms even though he couldn't see her. "That's not the same but I'll accept it."

"How was Cleveland?"

"It was awesome," Stef told her. "Sorry I didn't call, I called Gina and she kept me on so long I ran out of change."

Valerie rolled her eyes. "You need to get a cell phone."

Just as she said that, the operator cut in letting them know Stef needed to insert more coins because he was down to one minute.

"Looks like I gotta let you go," Stef said, sounding sheepish. "I used all my change again."

There was muffled talking in the background. Valerie thought maybe she had been cut off but then she recognized Jack's voice in the middle of all the nonsense.

"I got change, let me talk to her." She heard him say. She bit back a smile. Valerie didn't think he'd actually call her.

"Hello?" Jack said into the receiver.

"Hey, Jack," Valerie greeted. "How was your first show?"

Jack made an excited noise and then launched into a full on rant about how amazing it had been - she felt she had been there by how in depth he got.

"It was fucking amazing, Val," Jack told her. She could picture him with the receiver up to his ear, pacing around as far as the cord would let him as he talked with his hands, full of passion about his show. "So many people were in the crowd and we played so good."

"That's great," Valerie said sincerely. "I'm so proud of you guys."

"Yeah, miss me yet?" Valerie was miles away from him but knew he was smirking.

"I would say yes but I wouldn't want to fuel your ego more than it already is," she groaned. "But the apartment gets pretty dead without your annoying antics. I haven't had to clean a single thing and haven't heard a girl moan once!"

"Sounds terrible," Jack said. "Cole can't make you moan?"

Valerie coughed and heat rushed to her cheeks. "That is not what I meant!"

Jack chuckled into the receiver. "Ah, but it's true, isn't it?"

"No, it's not," she said defensively.

She could briefly hear her brother scold Jack about talking to his sister like that but Jack just continued to laugh.

"You know if you ever need help in that department, it _is_ my area of expertise, I could -"

Jack was cut off and the phone was being wrestled back and forth. Valerie had to take the phone away from her ear to spare it from the banging noises that came through it.

When someone spoke again, it was Stef and he sounded completely frustrated.

"Jack is never talking to you again," she heard Jack holler out in pain and knew Stef had injured him in some way. "This is why I didn't let you guys hang out. He's a goddamn pervert."

"We live together, Stef," Valerie said, holding back her own laughter. "What are we gonna do? Tape our mouths shut?"

"I'll figure out some arrangement. Maybe a whole different arrangement. Jamie's a nice girl, maybe she can board with you."

"Jamie quite enjoys living at her mom's, she provides her home cooked meals and pays the bills," Valerie told him. "I don't think I can top that. Plus, Jack does all that for me. I'd be losing out."

"You guys freak me out," Stef sighed heavily. "Go back to hating each other and bickering. If I have to hear Jack trying to hit on you again - I might throw up."

"It's just words, Stef, I have a boyfriend, remember?" She reminded him.

"Don't remind me."

That wasn't Stef.

"He gave you the phone back? I'm surprised." Valerie said to Jack.

"I gave him some change to go call Gina and he took off running."

"Figures."

"I don't know... I'm starting to like Gina. He doesn't try to take me away from you when she's in the picture. He's too Gina-revolved."

Valerie frowned at that. Her brothers priority was Gina and she was too jealous to be okay with that.

"Yeah right, you only say that stuff to piss him off," Valerie said. "If he didn't get all riled up you wouldn't have any fun."

"True," said Jack. "But I also say it because maybe one day you'll say yes."

Valerie rolled her eyes hard. "In your dreams."

"Oh, it's definitely in my dreams, sweetheart."

"You're such a tool, Jack," she scolded but her heart was pounding. "Did anyone ever tell you that?"

"A few, maybe."

"You're insane," she muttered. Valerie's eyes flickered to the time. "I've got to go but play hard tonight. You deserve this, don't forget that."

"Thanks, Val," he said as they hung up. "I'll call you again soon."

X X X

Jamie sat on the opposite side of Valerie in the plastic booth. A tray of two Big Mac meals laid between them untounched because Jamie couldn't shut up long enough to grab a bite and in turn - neither could Valerie.

"I can't believe your brother's touring, Val," Jamie shook her head in excitement. "That's so cool. That's hot."

"You gotta stop suggesting that my brothers hot. It's gross." Valerie chuckled and quickly threw a fry into her mouth while she had the chance.

"I'm not suggesting, I'm _telling_ ," Jamie shrugged her shoulders. "And it's not just your brother. It's the whole band of them. Especially that hot Mercer brother that lives under your roof."

Valerie opened her mouth but shut it when Jamie raised a finger to her in protest. "Don't even try to deny it. That little punk rocker can get this any day."

"I'm sure he wouldn't have any reservations about that if you let him know that." Valerie told Jamie. She had tried to say it jokingly but it came out more passive aggressive than she had hoped.

"I would but I think you guys gotta something going on behind closed doors," Jamie said, her lips curling. "Am I right?"

Valerie flushed.

"Wrong." She said too fast.

There really wasn't anything going on. Neither of them had made a move or said anything of real substance. But Valerie was becoming flustered by his usual flirty comments that she used to brush off with a roll of the eyes and she thought about him more now than probably the entire time she knew him. It was brutal and needed to be put to an end before it even began.

"Cole, remember?" Valerie threw in.

Jamie waved that off. "Cole, who? I don't trust a guy that wears khaki pants and probably has a trust fund."

Valerie was glad she didn't have any food in her mouth because she would have spit it out.

"You're terrible."

"What can I say? I call it how I see it."

Valerie wanted to change the subject immediately.

"Anyway," she drawled out. "How's your brother doing?"

Jamie pushed her lips into a thin line and shook her head slowly. "I hardly see the kid. He comes home to sleep. Sweet got him wrapped around his finger..."

"I'm afraid he'll get into some really bad shit, Val," she said quietly. "He's so naïve, he does everything they ask."

"That's so crazy he's messed up in all that," Valerie sighed. "He was the last one I thought would."

"I guess you can't protect anyone around here." Jamie said, frowning.

Both of them dug into their food finally. Valerie felt for Jamie. She was thankful for Stef's band because without that, he probably would have been just like Jamie's brother.

Thankfully, he was not. But she couldn't stop picturing Darrel at Jamie's kitchen table eating fruit loops or something equally as juvnile, milk running down his face, and talking about something (probably how much he loved J Dilla or how unfair it was he didn't make the basketball team, though, the kid was only five foot seven) with his mouth full. She couldn't, however, picture him in Sweet's gang. All she could picture was an excited seventeen year old boy. She knew Jamie couldn't either.

"It'll all work out fine in the end." Valerie said suddenly. She didn't know if she believed that herself but she had to for Jamie.

Jamie nodded but didn't say another word.


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks for the reviews! Here's thirteen, unedited, in its original glory so I apologize for any mistakes

 **CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

As the days went on, Valerie became used to odd numbers calling her house. On the other line was always Stef or Jack excitedly telling her about their latest concert or how amazing their current city was. Valerie wasn't sure how they wracked up so much change between them to call her every day but she wasn't complaining. Hearing them talk comforted her. She worried about them constantly and also had begun to really miss them as days turned to a week. But that also meant they would be home soon since Thanksgiving was creeping up quick.

Evelyn had invited the whole band and their families to her place for Thanksgiving as a welcome home party. Which was fine with Valerie - she didn't go to Thanksgivings at her dads since she moved out or any holiday, really. She didn't go there period. But Stef did and he knew they their parents would never accept Evelyn's invite so he told her he was going to spend Thanksgiving in their old home. Valerie was not. No way in hell.

Valerie was vacuuming when the phone rang this time and she quickly shut it off and ran to get it.

"Hey!" She said into the phone, smiling.

"Hey," said Cole. "You sounded excited to hear me."

"Oh, yeah," she told him, a little disappointed. "My brother usually calls me around this time and he's in New York right now, I'm waiting to hear all about it."

"I love New York," Cole said. "I miss it, going to school there. It was incredible."

"I bet," Valerie said, letting out a sigh. "I wish they would have dragged me along."

Cole chuckled. "You say that but you'd have nothing to do with just a bunch of boys. Plus you're in school."

"True." She agreed. "But New York."

Cole laughed again and there was a beep on her phone.

"I'm gonna have to let you go Cole. I think my brothers beeping in."

"Okay, no problem," he paused. "Call me later. We should do something."

She told him she most definitely would and answered the other call.

"Hey," the voice on the other line said. Jack. "How's it going?"

"Terrible." She poured to herself. "Because I'm not in New York with you guys. You better not do a bunch of cool touristy shit or I'll be pissed."

"You're in luck," She could hear the amusement in Jack's voice. "I tried to do a bunch of 'touristy shit' but no one would go with me. Bunch of douchebags, they just want to sit in the hotel and eat pizza."

Valerie shook her head. What a waste. "This is why you should've took me."

"I'm starting to think that now," Jack agreed with a groan. "Lets go someday. Me and you. We'll do all the touristy shit."

"You shouldn't have said that, Jacky, because I'm gonna hold you to it," she was grinning. "We're gonna do it all. The whole thing. Lady liberty crowns and everything."

"Anything is better than this crappy one-star hotel room and soggy fucking pizza."

"I can't believe them," Valerie would kill to be in that city and they weren't even exploring it. "I'd do anything to be there and they're just wasting it!"

"At least they can't rub it in your face that they've seen New York," Jack laughed lightly. "Because all they've seen is the club we're performing in tonight and the four walls of our hotel."

"Good," she told him. "I can't wait until you guys get home next week. I better receive a shit ton of souvenirs so I know you guys thought of me in every city."

"I thought about you in every city," Jack said, pausing for a brief moment. "I remember when we all went to Toronto. All of us boys just went to get fucked up legally for once but you were just so in awe of everything. You were amazed by seeing something that wasn't Detroit. I imagine that in every city we go to. You, just taking in everything, and just fucking loving it for what it is."

Valerie felt hot and her face twitched, a smile trying to force its way to the surface. She tried to hold it back but couldn't, if anyone saw her now she would look like an idiot: a stupid grin on her face as she held the phone to her ear all because Jack Mercer noticed things about her and thought about her when she wasn't around.

"You're such a goddamn dork." Valerie replied but she loved it.

"I knew you would say some shit like that," he said. "But I wanted to say it anyway because I know you secretly like it and you're probably standing in our kitchen fucking blushing because someone actually cares about you which makes it worth it."

That's exactly what she was doing.

"I am not," she said defensively but he had her pinned to a T. "You think you're so smooth, Jack Mercer, but it doesn't work on me."

"I know." He agreed with her, his voice had lowered a few decibels. "You're too smart. But I keep trying anyway."

Her heart pounded. They always fooled around but something about the raspiness in his voice made her take him seriously this time. She wanted to ask him what he meant but was too scared to actually hear it. Instead, she played it off as their usual banter and made a quick subject change.

"Have you written anything new lately?" Valerie asked him, forgetting that he had said something she probably should have replied to (or trying to). "And not that screaming punk-crap either. Something I would like."

"Maybe. But you'll just have to wait until we get back."

"You're a dick," she said but the insult held no weight.

"I gotta have something to hold over you so when I come home maybe you're excited to see me."

"Oh, Jack, you know you don't have to have something for me for me to be excited to see you," she said to him a little too sweetly. "I'm not going to be excited to see you no matter what you do."

"You know what, you're the dick, Val."

She bit her lip. "Only for you."


	14. Chapter 14

The Detroit Vandals were coming home in two days for a hometown show and Valerie was extremely relieved to have her boys back.

She was in Jack's room, tidying it for his return. He had left it astray when he took off for Cleveland and it had bothered her the entire time. She knew he would be pissed that she 'went through his stuff' but she hated having a mess anywhere in her house. Their landlord was also planning a visit soon. Though he wasn't very picky, he couldn't be in Detroit.

Valerie stepped out of Jack's room and jumped at the sight of someone standing in her kitchen. Her heart only settled back to normal when she recognized the dark hair and dark skin. Jamie was leaning against her countertop, sipping on OJ.

"Jesus, Jamie, this is why I don't have friends," she swore. "How'd you even get in here?"

"Some guy let me in the building. You didn't lock your door. Not very smart for a Detroit native."

"I'm very trusting." She said pointedly. Though, in reality, she just forgot to lock it after she ran to the corner store for some Mr. Clean to wash out Jack's dirty room.

"That's what gets you killed." Jamie said as passive as if she had just told her it was raining out today.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Anyway," Jamie spoke again. "I came here for a reason. You're coming to this party with me tonight."

Valerie opened her mouth in protest and Jamie shook her head. "Nope. You can't say no. We are both off tonight and that never happens. Go get ready."

"Fine." Valerie sighed but she was slightly excited by the idea of dressing up.

Valerie padded into her room and flung open her tiny closet. It was stuffed full. She never really grew since seventh grade. She went through a growth spurt, almost growing to six feet, that year and then never grew again. So, she never had to throw anything out - which meant a full closet, especially since in high school she spent ninety percent of her pay cheques on clothing.

Valerie grabbed a shiny silver halter top and a pair of dark low rise jeans and slipped on some heels. She briefly touched up her make-up she had done earlier to make it more 'nighttime' and then she was ready.

Jamie was on the phone when Valerie returned to the kitchen. At first, Valerie didn't think much about it. She had probably called Darrel or her mother, or something. But when Jamie started giggling like a school girl, Valerie knew something was up.

"Oh, we're going out tonight," Jamie said into the receiver. "Valerie's getting ready now."

Jamie turned around and spotted Valerie just behind her with her arms crossed. "Actually, she's ready now."

"She looks hot, too. Silver halter top, no back. Tight low rise jeans. She even has eyeliner on. It's a miracle, hey?"

Valerie rolled her eyes. "Who the hell are you talking to?"

Jamie smiled. "First it was Stef but he had to go call his girl. Right now it's Jack."

"Jamie!" Valerie groaned.

"She doesn't seem impressed with me," Jamie said into the phone. She looked up at Valerie. "He says he wants to talk to you."

Valerie grabbed the phone and Jamie ducked under the cord, smirking. "Of course he does! That's probably why he called me."

"Somebody's wound up." Jack laughed at her.

"Don't start," she said. "How's Chicago?"

"Pretty cool," he told her. "But I'm more interested in you right now. A backless halter top? Low rise jeans? How come you don't dress like that when I'm around?"

Valerie blushed and turned away from Jamie. "Because you're a pervert?"

"Yeah, that's it," he said. She pictured him rolling his eyes and flicking his hair out of his face. "But I'm serious. I'm hurt, Valerie. Apparently I've been missing out all this time."

"Apparently." She turned back to Jamie to glare at her friend. Jamie didn't seem fazed, she just shrugged.

"I can't believe I missed Stef," Valerie pouted. "How long do you think he'll be talking to Gina for?"

"Hours." Jack said immediately. "Until he goes broke. Looks like all you have is me."

"What a joy." She told him saracastically. But she didn't mind, not really. She loved when he called her.

"Most girls love talking to me, Val," She could hear Jack's smirk in his voice. "They think the rockstar thing is sexy. They'd kill to be on the other line right now and you're wasting it."

Valerie remembered feeding him the same lines except she was talking about New York.

"As if, Jack," she bit back. "Nobody would kill to talk to you, you're no Justin Timberlake."

"I'm offended you even put me and him in the same sentence."

Valerie laughed. "Why? I love me some JT."

"You're such a girl. Sometimes I forget."

"I guess I should be offended by that," she replied. "I'm going to have to cut this call short. Jamie's getting antsy waiting for me to leave."

"Okay, have a good time," he told her. "See you soon."

"Yeah, see you soon, loverboy."

X X X

Valerie was shoved in between what felt like thousands of sweaty bodies. She had lost Jamie hours ago. She probably had run off with some cute guy and had forgotten to tell Valerie. Valerie was a little annoyed but mostly she just wanted to find an exit and go home.

"Hey, baby girl," some white guy with a Von Dutch hat and a tee shirt styled with trashy graffiti-themed lettering on the chest said to her. She tried not to screw up her face. "Let me buy you a drink."

"I've had enough. Thanks." She said coldly and pushed past him.

He tugged on her arm. "Don't be like that, girl. I'll get you a drink, we can talk."

"Not happening, buddy," she ripped her arm from his grip. "I have a boyfriend and even if I didn't I'm not that desperate."

She strutted away from Trucker Hat, shoving anyone out of her way with the use of her elbows, and cursed Jamie for dragging her out just to abandon her.

She finally found an exit through all the bodies and fog. An exit sign was illuminated probably fifteen feet away from her. She was relieved to see it. But she wasn't relieved to see a familiar face.

Cole was in the back corner of the club grinding on some girl while she was kissing all over his neck. Valerie stopped in her tracks eyeing both Cole and the door, deciding which route she should take. The door was even more appealing than before but she knew she couldn't let this go.

She wanted to let it go.

Cole was the type of guy that you were supposed to get involved with. Smart, goal-orientated, and had a good solid plan for his life. Valerie had never been with a guy like that and she thought that testing the waters with Cole, branching out, and going for the right kind of guy might get her somewhere. But how were the guys from her side of town the wrong kind when the right kind couldn't even keep his damn hands to himself?

She wasn't too upset as she watched her boyfriend with another woman. She liked Cole but she wasn't in love with him, not yet. It was more a damage to her ego than anything else. He made her feel as if he really wanted her. That was quite obviously bullshit.

If Valerie was the type of girl Cole usually went after, she would wait around for Cole to step away from the other woman and quietly pull him aside and confront him. But Valerie was not his usual type. She had tamed herself, a little, for him but she was still the same girl from high school that had a fiery mouth and enough attitude to cause a scene. It wasn't the first time Valerie had been cheated on. Many boyfriends past had gone down that path - practically all.

She pushed through the crowd, more forcefully this time, until she was no more than two feet away from Cole. For a moment, she just stood there, a hand firmly pressed on her hip and eyes narrowed harshly in his direction. He must have felt her glare because he looked up right away. Instantly, he paled, pushing the other girl off him.

"So when I can't hang out this is what you get up to?" She shouted over the music. "I have to tell you, Cole. I'm surprised. I thought you were a lot more boring than that."

The girl looked up at Cole. Her brows furrowed at him - asking him silently what the hell is going on. Valerie didn't have a fight to pick with her, she probably was clueless about it. Cole was a whole different story.

"Is this like a one time thing or have you been fucking around on me since you asked me to be your girlfriend?"

The other club goers had already turned their attention to her. A lot of them had stopped dancing and stared obviously between her and Cole.

The girl who had hung off him slipped out of his grip, she wouldn't meet Valerie's eye.

Cole just stared at her, his mouth slightly agape.

"Well? You gonna say anything or are you just gonna stand there like a fool with your mouth hanging open?"

Cole stepped closer. His face was almost pressed up against hers. It was similar to what it would look like if Cole was going in for a kiss but Valerie knew it was definitely not that.

Cole leaned in, his lips just barely touching her ear.

"Can you just drop it?" Cole hissed, his eyes flickered around the small crowd gathered around them. "This isn't the place."

"Okay, so let me get this straight - this is the place you can cheat on me," she was talking with her hands. "But we can't talk about it."

"I don't want to cause a scene. It looks bad."

Valerie rolled her eyes. "Fine. We can't talk about it here, where can we talk about it?"

"My place," Cole told her. "."

She narrowed her eyes at him again. "You're lucky I was just about to leave because you haven't seen half the scene I could've caused. I'll see you tomorrow. You better be a bit more talkative."

Valerie slipped out of the crowd after that. No tears came or even felt like coming.

Trucker Hat side-stepped in front of her. "Looks like you ain't got that boyfriend anymore. My offer is still on the table."

Valerie huffed and didn't even gift him with a reply, just left the club.


	15. Chapter 15

Valerie knocked roughly on Cole's apartment door. He sounded surprised when she buzzed in. He probably thought she wouldn't show. But Valerie had a few words to have with him.

Cole opened the door to his apartment slowly. He glanced at her and scratched at the back of his neck. "Hey," he said.

Valerie could feel how uncomfortable he was. She could see he didn't know how to approach this at all.

She didn't even greet him back. She pushed through him, into the apartment.

"Explain." She folded her arms.

"Look," he started with a sigh. "I never meant to cheat on you. My parents - they said a couple things about dating a girl like you and I just let it get to me."

"A couple things to say?" Her brows knitted together. "Like what?"

His lips pursed. "Does it matter?"

"Yes," she said firmly. "I want to know what things they could have said that made you think I was low enough that you could fool around on me - or made you want to."

"Valerie..."

She just gave him a look.

"You know, what you guys act like."

"Actually, I don't know. Enlighten me."

"How much experience you girls tend to have and how you guys really don't get anywhere in life."

She was livid. She was foaming at the mouth.

"Are you kidding? I'm two years away from a degree and if I'm allowed to point this out - you were the one getting freaky with some other chick on the dance floor. Guys with no experience don't do that."

"I know, I know," he ran his hands through his hair. "It was stupid. I let them get to me. But don't tell me you're all innocent either. You and Jack?"

Valerie shook her head. "Jack? Jack's family and even if I felt something for Jack I didn't fucking act on it because I'm a better person than you."

"I see how you guys get along," Cole continued. "He calls you everyday."

"So what?"

"So what? You have a boyfriend that's what,"

"Had." She butted in. Cole rolled his eyes.

"You were stringing us both along. Don't act like you weren't."

Valerie stayed quiet.

"I knew when we went to ElectriK. My father told me some things - how he went around with a girl like you when he was in high school and she screwed him over and was always dragging him down. I didn't want that to be me."

"So your dad had a bad experience with a girl and it's okay to generalize half the damn city of Detroit because one girl was a sleaze?" Valerie said, an edge to her voice. "That's insane."

"You aren't apologizing. You're justifying it. You fucked up. There's no excuse you could give me that would make it alright. You could've just dumped me if you thought I was some sort of white trash."

"I don't think you're white trash," Cole paused. "It's just the people you're around and the stories..."

"I can't believe it, I can't believe we were dating," Valerie laughed but it lacked the usual humor. "If you don't like them, you don't like me. You get to hide away in your pretty little suburb and shut the suffering out. But if you drive even three minutes, you can see people suffering. When you're desperate you make mistakes. It doesn't make them bad people."

Cole scoffed. "Like you could tell what makes a good person. You hang out with the Mercers."

"You wish you could be half the person any four of those brothers were because maybe they got messed up in some shit before but they always clean it up in the end."

"I'm sorry for cheating on you," Cole mumbled so low she hardly heard him. "You're right I can't justify it and I'm just gonna make things worse if I keep talking like this - I'm sorry."

She nodded. "I'm not going to say it's okay - because it's not - but for what it's worth other than feeling disrespected I'm not that upset. I don't think we got all that serious yet."

"I guess not," he agreed. "I think we both just wanted somebody but we probably weren't the somebody either of us needed. I don't even think we'd get along anymore."

Valerie chuckled. He was probably right. They both had very different opinions on things.

"You're a dick," she told him. "But let's just leave it at that. I'll see myself out."

Valerie stepped back into the crisp November air and slid into her car. She was relieved Stef and Jack would be home tomorrow because she didn't know if she would survive being alone much longer. She was dreading the thought of them leaving again already - she didn't even have Cole anymore, just Jamie. She was going to be on her own a lot when they left again.

Valerie thought she had been driving back to her apartment but she ended up two blocks away from her childhood home on Evelyn's doorstep.

Evelyn opened the door and smiled. As soon as the door opened Valerie got a waft of sugar cookies and cinnamon.

"Valerie," she said warmly. "Come in. I'm just baking some things for Thanksgiving. I like to do it early because the turkey and things just take so long."

Valerie helped Evelyn with her baking. They didn't say all that much. Evelyn talked about the guy she was seeing, only after Valerie promised to keep her mouth zipped.

Valerie was happy for her. Evelyn was the sweetest woman she knew and that meant she deserved someone to make her happy.

"I just broke up with my boyfriend actually," Valerie said while they were on the topic. Evelyn looked up at her, intrigued by what she said. "I did it just before I made my way over here."

"Well, wow," said Evelyn. "I'm surprised. What made you do it?"

"I saw him with another girl," Valerie said quietly. "It didn't really hurt me but just made me sad. I don't know how to do this stuff, the relationship thing. Four out of my five boyfriends all cheated on me. Do I have like a curse or something?"

"I don't think so," Evelyn laughed softly. "I think you're just looking in the wrong places, dear."

"Well then, where are the right places? Because I'd like directions." Valerie said with a groan.

She rolled out the shortbread dough and began to stamp it with a leaf-shaped cookie cutter and then laid the finished cookies on the greased pan.

"Closer than you think. You don't need directions, you'll just know." Evelyn finally said.

"I hope so," Valerie replied. "I know I'm young but I feel older than I am. I want to settle down. I don't want to be like my mom and dad. I want to get it right."

"You will," Evelyn smiled. "I have faith in you."

 _X X X_

Valerie sat on Stef's couch, tapping her fingers along her thigh anxiously, waiting for the tour bus to appear as she stared out the apartment window. Waiting with Gina made her uncomfortable. The bus could have dropped them at any of their houses, she wished it didn't have to be Stef's.

Gina tried to make small talk and Valerie entertained it at first but after awhile it just got sickening. They had nothing in common (except for Stef) and Valerie still didn't like Gina at all, just hated her slightly less.

A car honked and Valerie was off the couch, peering out the window in less than a second to get a better look. She recognized the bus from when it had picked them up. It had just turned up Stef's road.

Valerie grinned and swiftly made her way outside to greet the band.

She wrapped Stef into a hug immediately, squeezing him as tight as her skinny arms would allow.

"Missed you, baby brother."

"I missed you too," he laughed. "Until you called me that."

"You know you actually love it." She told him, not breaking the hug.

"I actually don't."

Valerie laughed with him and slipped out of his embrace when she saw Gina make her way down the stairs. Stef ran to her and picked her up in his arms, pulling her tight. Valerie begrudgingly tried not to smile but failed as seeing her brother happy, no matter the circumstances, made her happy:

Valerie gave the other boys, Eli and Austin, a hug each and congratulated them of their first tour. She hadn't spotted Jack yet.

She was talking to Austin about the trip when two arms wrapped around her waist from behind her. At first she was startled but she smelt the familiar cologne and looked down at her waist, spotting a pair of familiar fingerless gloves interlocked tightly around her waist.

"It's good to see you." Said Jack, he mumbled it into her hair.

Austin smiled between them and stepped away. Valerie struggled out of Jack's grip.

Valerie turned to face him. His hair was as messy as usual, he had on his leather jacket which she loved on him, and he had a sloppy grin on his face.

"Good to see you, too, Jack," she said crossing her arms. "But what was all that about?"

He shrugged. "I wanted to give you a warm welcome. But I forgot you were off-limits, aren't you?"

Valerie should have corrected him but she didn't.

Instead she gave a light shove which made him smirk. "You are such a dork. Thought you were supposed to be all hard and punk."

"I can be both."

Valerie side-stepped him to walk back to the stairway. She made sure to look down at the ground to hide the fact her lips had curled into a broad grin because of him.

Gina and Stef were sat on the porch steps holding hands - Valerie tried her best to ignore that.

She put her hand on her hip. "Where are my gifts?"

Stef groaned.

He kept true to his word. He gave her a Red Wings jersey with Yzerman's name scrolled on the back. He also gave her a fridge magnet from every city they went to. When she got home she excitedly put them on her fridge door. Jack poked fun at her excitement but she didn't care.

Jack had gone to see Evelyn before coming back to their apartment. Two hours after he did, he returned home.

"How does it feel to be home, rock star?" She teased. Jack flung himself on the couch right next to her.

"Relaxing." Jack told her. "Touring is fun, just as great as I thought it would be. But I am definitely on board for a break. I'm beat out."

"Poor baby." She pouted.

Jack coughed. "I see you cleaned my room. I thought we had a privacy rule?"

Valerie nodded. "We do but you left it a mess Jack. I couldn't have that. Especially since our landlord paid a visit."

"Don't lie," he said, amusement laced in his voice. "You just wanted to go through my stuff while I was gone. You're obsessed with me."

"Caught me." She said sarcastically.

Jack was quiet for a moment and got up and stepped into his room. A moment later, he came back out. His hands were placed behind his back.

She raised a brow.

"What are you doing?"

Jack looked sheepish. "I got you something, too."

Jack took his place on the couch again. He still hadn't exposed whatever he had hidden behind him. Valerie was waiting, not so patiently, anxious to know what it was. She hadn't expected anything from Jack.

"When we were in Cleveland this band was doing a meet and greet. I had shit all to do and all the boys were being useless at the hotel," Jack explained. "So I lined up, bought the CD, and got it signed."

Jack handed her a CD. She read it quickly: Healthy in Paranoid Times, Our Lady Peace. When she opened the case - the inside was scrawled with signatures of the boys in the band. She closed it again.

"You know, that line was pretty short. They don't have many fans." Jack said. She could tell he was just trying to sound more indifferent and not like he had just given her a very sentimental gift.

She had annoyed him with the Our Lady Peace album Gravity for close to a year but she didn't know he had actually paid attention to who they were other than just telling her that 'Somewhere Out There is a garbage song' a million times. He had remembered her favourite band and he had gotten in line at a meet and greet, for a band he had no interest in, so she could have this.

"Thank you." She said softly, still clutching the CD tightly.

"It was nothing."

Maybe, she thought. But it felt like everything.


	16. Chapter 16

Valerie felt like she was losing it - she was actually excited for a Detroit Vandals show.

But it wasn't in the usual gritty pub, they were the opening act at the House of Blues. It wasn't Madison Square Garden by any means but it was a step in the right direction. She was extremely proud when she saw them step out on stage, she even screamed with the crowd.

Jamie had tagged along. Valerie had decided not to hold a grudge against her for ditching Valerie at the club. Jamie did seem pretty guilty when Valerie told her what went down and that was enough for Valerie.

Valerie still hadn't acquired a taste for the more aggressive tracks of theirs but she got chills just seeing them on a stage of this size, with a full house (even if most people didn't come for them).

Jamie seemed to be into it. She was jumping up and down and screaming along the entire time. Valerie stifled her laughter and joined in.

"I know your brothers engaged and Jack's off limits," Jamie yelled over the music. "But can you hook me up with one of the other two?"

Valerie shook her head but agreed to take Jamie backstage to meet them. She wanted to correct her on the Jack thing but she knew Jamie wouldn't believe her anyway.

Jack closed the opening act with Loving Won't Leave Me Alone. Valerie's arms raised with goosebumps at the first verse. Something about Jack's voice so raspy and passionate always made her shiver and feel something. Even on her burned off CD.

She stared at Jack, watching him mouth the words into the mic he had gripped so tight. His eyes flickered down to hers and she smiled softly as they made eye contact. His own lips twitched, just a little, before he looked away and foucused on the crowd behind her again.

When the song ended and the lights went black, Valerie screamed as loud as she could, cheering them on.

She didn't wait for the main act to come out, they weren't who she came for. She pushed through the crowd, Jamie latched around her elbow, and made her way backstage.

Stef was chugging back a water so fast Valerie was surprised he didn't choke. Jack had taken a towel to his face, catching all the dripping sweat that had formed as he had sung his heart out. Eli was sprawled out on a couch in the back corner, and Austin was raiding a small mini fridge for something to eat. Gina, to Valerie's distaste, was hanging off Stef.

Valerie sat next to Eli on the couch, picking up his legs so she could sit down and then tossing them over hers, where they had been before. Jamie followed her, taking up the armrest.

"Great set, boys." Valerie congratulated them.

Eli grinned. "I feel like I hit it big. You came to our show and you even dressed up for it."

"Bite me." Valerie teased. She glanced down at her outfit. She did usually wear a simple jeans and tee combo for their gigs, if she even went, but tonight she had on a black halter dress and tall leather boots.

"This is Jamie, by the way," Valerie introduced. "You probably remember her from ElectriK."

All the boys greeted her and Valerie could tell Jamie was swooning.

Valerie was having a bit of a struggle not to swoon herself when Jack walked over to the couch without a shirt on. She glanced over him - up and down. He glistened with sweat and while Jack was no body builder, he was toned. He smirked when he caught her looking and Valerie quickly averted her gaze elsewhere.

The boys were more polite than Valerie, they waited for the main act to be over before they piled out of the House of Blues, patting the other band of boys on the back and telling them they were great out there.

Valerie trailed behind the group. Jamie animatedly chatted with Austin and Eli, and Jack and Stef were talking lowly to one another. She felt a little out of the loop.

She hugged her jacket to her, feeling the chill of winter outside. She should have worn a scarf or gloves. Tights would have a good idea too.

Jack said something to Stef and then Stef caught up to the others while Jack hung back.

"What has you all fucking brooding?"

She folded her arms and looked up at him. She had to crane her neck to do so - which never really happened, being 5'11, but Jack was just so damn tall. "I'm not brooding. I just don't have anything to say."

"Unusual for you," he said, his lips curling. "You always got a smart ass comment for everything."

She reciprocated his expression. "You got me there. I guess I'm just not in the mood tonight."

"Something really must be wrong then."

Valerie shoved him with her hip and Jack laughed, that loud, deep laugh that rumbled from somewhere far down in his chest. A shot of warmth went through her at the sound. She hadn't heard it in a while.

Snow started to fall just moments later. Those big fluffy flakes that meant the snow was going to stay for awhile. She craned her neck again to watch the sky; it was mesmerizing when the snow fell hard, just swirls and swirls of white falling from a black night sky.

"I love the snow," she whispered but she knew Jack heard her because his gaze flicked on to her. "I could never live in California or Florida or something. I'd miss it too much."

"Yeah, me too."

She felt herself shiver and a second later Jack had wrapped his scarf around her. Valerie breathed it in, it smelt just like him and provided her with the warmth she needed.

"You look hot," Jack chuckled. "But you sure as hell didn't dress to keep warm. A paradox."

"Sometimes you gotta pick beauty over comfort." She shrugged.

"Your friend, Jamie," Jack tipped his head in Jamie's direction. "She seems to be getting on with Eli just fine."

"I think that's her plan." Jamie wasn't being discreet. She had been warming up to Eli since she sat by him backstage.

Austin yelled at them from the front of their little line - something about hitting up a bar to celebrate their hometown show.

Jack told them to go to Joe's, giving Valerie a sly look as he said it. They both had silently agreed that Joe's was their spot.

All seven of them piled in Joe's and Jamie ordered a round of cold ones for all of them since she 'was a working woman'. None of them complained, obviously.

Jamie challenged Valerie to a game of pool and even though Valerie knew she was going to lose, she agreed to the game.

Jack shook his head in her direction.

Jamie had sunk three balls. Valerie had sunk zero. Jack had pulled up a stool and was watching in amusement, the other four had followed his lead.

Jamie sunk another ball and Jack stood up.

"You gotta lean in to it, Val," he said, behind her by mere inches now. He lined up the pool stick for her. "And hit it from this angle."

She did as she was told and she sunk a ball. Jack smirked smug that he had taught her something.

He lined up the pool stick in just the right way again. "Okay, now lean into it remember."

Valerie did as she was told and sunk another.

Jamie frowned. "This is cheating!"

She turned to the three boys still sitting on their stools. "This is cheating, don't you think?"

Eli nodded but the other three shook their heads.

"That's three to one, Jamie," Jack chuckled. "I guess you're out of luck."

Jamie pouted but Valerie could tell she wasn't actually upset. She had too much of a buzz for that. She took her turn.

Jack lined everything up for her once again. Valerie didn't sink the ball by less than one third of an inch.

"You didn't hit it hard enough." Jack told her. Valerie nodded in agreement, already knowing that.

Jack leaned over her as he did the first time they came to Joe's and held her hand tightly to the pool stick, pulling her arm back and then pushing it forward when he had it properly lined up. As always, a ball was sunk.

Valerie tipped her head back to smile at him, wordlessly thanking him.

"Okay," Stef groaned. He had got off his stool and pushed them apart. "That's enough of whatever this is."

"Grow up, Stef." Valerie told him.

He raised his hands and backed away.

Valerie and Jamie finished their game. Jamie still won, even with Jack's help.

The boys had lost interest by the time they wrapped up their game and had gone back to the bar for second and third rounds. Gina was perched quietly on the stool. Valerie felt a tinge of guilt, seeing her left out, and cursed herself for it. Stef eyed her from the bar, pointing at Gina.

He wanted her to include her.

"Hey, since I lost," Valerie said to Gina, who's head snapped up at the sound. "You wanna play the winner?"

Gina nodded, her lips turning up slightly at the edges. Jamie waved her over excitedly. She had enough of a buzz to be friendly.

Valerie sniped Gina's spot on the stool. She sipped at her beer, that had gone warm during her game of pool, and watched them.

It was after midnight when Stef wrapped his arms around Gina's shoulders and announced to the group they were going to start walking home. Everyone else dispersed after that. Except Jack. Which meant she was in charge of getting a drunk, stumbling Jack home for the night. Valerie wasn't too upset - it wasn't her first time.

She managed to get Jack to the apartment, up the stairs, and shove him into his bed. He was out cold as soon as he hit the mattress.

Valerie stripped down and threw on her pyjamas but she was not as lucky as Jack.

Valerie was too restless to go to bed so she stayed up watching late night television. She must have fallen asleep after awhile though because the next moment she remembered was walking up to the phone ringing.

She half debated not answering, it was three in the morning, but she was already up.

"Hello?" She said groggily. It was probably some idiotic survey or scam call centre who didn't understand time zones existed.

"Valerie?" Even in a sleepy haze Valerie knew that was Jeremiah's voice. "I need to speak to Jack."

"Jack's passed out. Had too many cold ones," she said, holding back a yawn. "Want me to pass along a message?"

It should have struck Valerie that something was serious when Jeremiah was calling their place at three a.m but she had just been so tired. What Jeremiah said next froze her.

"Valerie," Jeremiah sounded choked up. "I need to speak to Jack because... Evelyn has passed. She's gone."

She felt numb. "What do you mean...?"

"I mean she was shot in an armed robbery gone wrong." Jeremiah said.

"I'll get Jack." That definitely wasn't a message Valerie wanted to pass along. She didn't have the heart.

She slipped into Jack's room. She still didn't know if she could wake him up. She knew he would be a wreck right after Jeremiah's phone call. But she didn't get a choice in the matter, Jack woke up as soon as she opened the door.

"Never thought I'd see the day that you'd come sneaking in here," Jack said in a rough voice that meant he had been just woken up from sleep. "I'd dreamt about it a couple times."

Valerie wanted to roll her eyes or even laugh at Jack's stupid joke but she couldn't do anything but hold back tears that had pricked her eyes.

"Jack," her voiced cracked. "Just go get the phone."

Valerie followed Jack out of the room. There was still a slight stumble to his walk; she hoped he wasn't still drunk when he heard this.

Jack picked up the phone and a few moments later it looked like someone had poured a bucket of ice water over him. He didn't look tired or drunk, he looked wide awake but she could see the pain in his twisted expression.

Valerie watched him slam the reciever down with shaky hands.

"Jack-"

Valerie wasn't even sure he heard her. Jack stomped back to his room and slammed the door so hard the whole place shook.

She spent the rest of her night sitting on the floor outside Jack's door, knocking. He had his music blasting but she could still hear him yelling and crying. It made her cry. It made her want to sit there and god damn throw up. Valerie was so tired but she couldn't sleep, she wouldn't tonight, not until Jack came out of his room.

Why anybody would do this to Jack or any of the Mercer's was beyond Valerie's knowledge. Jack calling Evelyn his second chance was all that was going through Valerie's mind. The kid had a shit childhood and then he had a taste of something good just to have it ripped away. Jack Mercer better get a damn third chance.

"Jack, please come out. Please."

The music turned off suddenly and Jack got up long enough to open his door and lay back down on his bed. Valerie assumed she was allowed in.

She was too afraid to say anything. The blotchiness and bags under his eyes told Valerie all she needed to know anyway. She curled up on the bed next to him. Jack stretched out and pulled her in, holding her to him. Valerie knew that she should've probably moved away but it didn't seem right. He needed someone to hold right now.

They were completely quiet until they both fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Jack stood up in front of the podium and Valerie tried to stop herself from crying so she wouldn't drown him out but it was hard. Evelyn Mercer was a god damn saint, everyone knew that. Valerie didn't need to whip out her compact mirror to know there was a stream of black mascara running down her face.

Jack paused and looked out at the crowd before saying his speech. "I never bothered looking for my real parents," he said and Valerie teared up again. "because Evelyn was enough."

Jack was hysterical by the end of his speech. Jeremiah had to go remove him from the podium at the end of the ceremony. Jack looked so desperate up there, Valerie didn't know if she could ever get that image out of her head.

She squeezed Jack's shoulder tightly when he took his place standing next to her again. He held her hand there and squeezed it back.

"You ready to go to Jeremiah's?" He nodded. "I'm gonna drop you off. Can't stay, I gotta go to work."

"Can you stay? Stef can't come, he and the boys are going back on the road tonight and I don't wanna go in there with a bunch of people that are just gonna tell me 'sorry for your loss'. I don't wanna hear that bullshit. I won't be able to handle it by myself."

She looked at him sadly. Losing Evelyn was bad enough and now he had to deal with the boys going back on the tour without him. Austin had covered his lead singing position.

"You got your brothers."

"Yeah. One outta three. I haven't seen the other two in who knows how fucking long." He said, shaking his head. He pulled out a smoke. Usually Valerie would nag and tell him not to smoke in front of her but she didn't have the heart.

"I'll go to work and a little bit in I'll fake some nasty cramps or something okay? Then I'll come."

Jack cracked a smile that resembled more of a grimace. "No point in going to Jerry's. Meet me at my mom's, alright?"

She tried to smile back. "Alright."

The diner was slow. They had overestimated the amount of people they needed working. When her boss started asking people if they wanted to go home, Valerie was the first to offer.

There was only one car in the driveway when Valerie got to Evelyn's. A car Valerie hadn't seen in years.

She knocked. She wouldn't have if it had just been Jack but seeing that vehicle in the driveway made her feel like she had to.

Bobby Mercer opened the door. A face she hadn't seen since a couple months before her high school graduation.

"Bobby, good to see you. Terrible circumstances. Your mom was a great woman."

"Yeah, she was," Bobby gave her a once over. "Leggy, brunette, bedroom eyes. Valerie Beaumont. Stef, I could see knocking on this door but what're you doing here?"

Jack poked out from behind Bobby. "Stop hitting on her Bobby and let her in."

Bobby shoved his brother. "I ain't hittin' on nobody. She's way too young for me."

"Don't tell me you're here to see Jacky?" Bobby looked impressed. "He your G.B.F, you here to swap clothes and do each other's hair?"

"No, Bobby, I'm here for you," she crooned, peeking through her lashes. "Heard you were back in town and thought maybe I'd stand a chance now I'm over eighteen. It really hurts me, Bobby, that you still think I'm a baby."

"Get your ass in here, kid. Before I change my mind."

She stepped in and Bobby shut the door. "Can't believe little Jacky finally tapped that. He always said he would but I thought that was just an alibi to cover up the fairy he really was." Bobby gave Jack a pat on the back. "Maybe you aren't such a fairy. But I'll never know for sure until you take that damn tongue ring out."

Valerie glanced at Jack with a questionable expression but Jack wouldn't meet her eye.

"You're an idiot. We're going upstairs."

"Have fun." Bobby goddamn winked at her.

Jack sat on his bed and picked up his guitar. Valerie took a place on the floor. She had never actually been in Jack's old room before. It was exactly what she expected it to look like: full of band posters, records everywhere, and a complete mess. It was a replica of the one he had at their apartment.

"So, you used to have a thing for me, Jacky?" Valerie said teasingly. "I hear you wanted to tap this, is that right?"

"Bobby needs to learn to shut his mouth."

She raised a brow. "Ah, so it's true."

She had never seen Jack Mercer look awkward before.

"Fuck," he said, running his hands through his hair. "I mean, yeah. I thought you were hot. I never tried anything because once I mentioned how leggy you were to Stef and he beat the shit outta me."

"That's too bad, I thought you were a hottie in high school, too," she looked him in the eyes. "It's terrible how you really let yourself go."

He scoffed, scrunching up his face. "If anything, I'm better."

"Cocky," Valerie said. "But I don't know... you used to be all James Dean but now you're all Sid Vicious and that's just a bit too much for me."

"Yeah, I know I'm too much for you," Jack said chuckling. "Because apparently you're into guys who are nothing like you and are obnoxiously boring and clean-cut."

"Ouch." Valerie laughed, a little taken aback. "Sounds like you've had that pent up for awhile."

Jack shrugged. "I'm a passionate guy. When I see something I don't like I gotta call it out."

Bobby burst into the room before either of them could say anything else. She wanted to tell Jack that maybe that wasn't her type - since Cole and her weren't together anymore. Bobby didn't give her the chance.

"Jacky, you know you gotta leave this door open," Bobby said in a womanly voice, imitating Evelyn. "Valerie is a very nice girl but rules are rules. I do not want any babies being made."

Jack chucked a pillow at Bobby and Valerie chuckled at the scene unfolding around her. Bobby caught the pillow and shook his head, apparently still in character.

"I do not appreciate that, Jacky. I demand respect."

"Get the fuck outta here, Bobby." Said Jack but there was a smile on his face.

"Alright, alright," Bobby held his hands up in defense. "I know when I'm not wanted. I'll let you two get back to your little girls night - I just wanted to let you know the game was on."

That's how Valerie ended up shoved between the two Mercer's on Evelyn's living room couch, watching the Red Wings play the Bruins.

Watching hockey with them was not just watching hockey. Every time something happened - like the Red Wings scored - there was chaos. Jack broke a lamp when he jumped to to holler at his team scoring a goal. Bobby almost knocked her out.

She didn't care. She was glad they had something to take Evelyn off their minds even just for a little while.

After the game, that even went into overtime, Valerie got up to get ready to leave. Bobby was already yawning and making his way upstairs.

Jack looked up at her. "Where you going?"

Valerie furrowed her brows. "Home? Where else?"

"Oh," he said, looking suddenly down once again. "I just thought you were gonna stay."

"I didn't bring anything," Valerie replied, surprised he would even want her to stay the night. She didn't know they were that close. She felt they were but Valerie thought Jack might have felt different. "I'll come back in the morning maybe?"

"Yeah drop over in the morning. Bring stuff this time." He smiled at her.

She smiled back. "Alright, I will. Goodnight, Jack."


	18. Chapter 18

The next morning Valerie got up and threw a bunch of clothes and make-up into a duffle bag. She wasn't even sure if she really should go back to Evelyn's like she said she would. Maybe Jack had just been tired or lonely or _both_.

She packed anyway, she would make an appearance over to Evelyn's and leave her bag in the car just so she wouldn't be embarrassed if it really had just been a late night offer.

Inside the Mercer household was all Evelyn's sons under one roof. Angel, Jack, Bobby, and Jerry all in one place. Evelyn would have loved it. Sadly, it took her death to bring them all back together.

Even Sofi was there. She was making her way down the stairs when Stef and Valerie walked in. Valerie felt like she was fifteen again. Except this time around there was no coffee cake in the oven and Evelyn wasn't there watching over them.

Though, it did smell good, like something cooking.

"Who's cooking?" Valerie said. She joined the others in the living room. "Smells delicious."

"That would be Jacky," said Bobby. "Cooking us a nice Thanksgiving family dinner."

That peaked her excitement. Jack's cooking always did. Technically, Thanksgiving had been the night before—but nobody could focus on a holiday when where was a funeral. Valerie wasn't going to complain about getting turkey.

She made her way through the house and into the kitchen where Jack was boiling vegetables on the stove.

"Now I'm glad I came back. This is way better than the Kraft Dinner I was going to make."

Jack glanced over. "You're not getting one bite of this."

Valerie folded her arms. "Why not?"

"This is a family thing."

" _I'm_ family," she whined. "Evelyn _loved_ me and we live together for god sakes."

"Maybe I'll save you some left overs if you're nice." He smirked at her.

"Fine," she said with a sigh. "I guess I'll be leaving."

Jack gripped her wrist and twirled her back around to face him. "You can stay. I'm just riling you up."

She smiled up at him.

Footsteps padded into the kitchen. Valerie only tipped her head to get a glimpse of who it was. Bobby stood behind her, clearing his throat.

"Every time I walk in on you two I feel like I'm _interrupting_ ," Bobby said roughly. "Stand further apart or something."

Jack did the opposite, pulling Valerie into his chest and wrapping his arms around her neck. "Maybe that's because you are interrupting something, Bobby."

Valerie blushed. She was hyper-aware in that moment that her back was pressed against his hot chest and that his arms around her made her feel comfortable. Bobby's eyes wandered over them: up then down.

"I ain't buying it, Jacky." Bobby shook his head. "Valerie's too much for you."

Jack released her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean Valerie's a real woman. You're just a little boy."

Valerie smirked and quickly glanced up at Jack, who was looking very displeased with Bobby's comment. Not catching on to the fact that it was the reaction Bobby was waiting for.

"You hear that, Jack? You can't handle me." Valerie mocked playfully.

Jack's frown deepened. "You guys don't know what I can handle. I can handle a real woman - I've _been_ with many."

Jack didn't need to tell her that. She knew all about it after sharing a place with him.

"Nah, that's what you don't get," said Bobby. "That's just for a night. You could never keep one, Jacky."

"Shut up, Bobby. Neither could you."

Bobby shrugged, not denying or agreeing with what Jack said, before leaving the kitchen. Valerie let out a laugh—Bobby had accomplished what he wanted swimmingly: to make Jack angry. Jack never realized Bobbys intentions, naive even after all these years, and always let Bobby get to him.

"What are _you_ laughing at?" Jack said gruffly. He wasn't looking at her. He wasn't even near her anymore. Jack was focused on the stove, gone back to stirring various pots.

"You." Jack grunted in response. "You always let him get to you. He's only fooling around, Jack. He's just making you mad for a laugh. It's not real."

"I know that," he huffed out. "I always do. Just _after_ I'm already pissed off."

"You just need to chill out. Have a beer or something."

Jack flung open the fridge, doing as she said and cracking open a can of beer, he tipped back his head and chugged the amber liquid.

"Thanks for the advice."

"No problem." She smiled and backed out of the kitchen.

In the living room, the other boys were fighting over something and Sofi was sitting on the couch, staring at the game on television—seemingly bored now that Angel wasn't focused completely on her.

Sofi brightened up when Valerie walked into the room. "Vally, good to see you! Come, sit!"

Despite living no more than ten minutes from each other, Valerie hadn't seen Sofi much since Angel went away. Every now and again they'd see each other pass by at the mall or grocery store and they'd catch up but that was it. Last Valerie heard Sofi was dating some gangster _but_ Valerie could piece together that ended. Probably as soon as Angel stepped foot on Detroit soil.

She plopped down on the couch next to Sofi, pulling her into a hug. "Always good to see you. You and Angel back on?"

Sofi glanced over at Angel and grinned. "You know I can't stay away from that man."

"I hope he sticks around this time."

They didn't talk much after that. Partly because the Mercer brothers never shut up (they didn't have indoor voices) and partly because Valerie had nothing to say.

Sofi stood up not too much after that, saying she had to work. Valerie offered her a ride. It was snowing harsh out there and it didn't seem like Angel was going to get off his ass.

The Mercer boys had already dug in to their Thanksgiving supper when she returned. Valerie just took up her former spot on the couch. She knew Jack had been joking about only letting her eat the leftovers but it was the first time they had all been together in a long time and she didn't want to intrude on that.

Bobby hollered at her to come take a seat at the table but she ignored him and focused on the Thanksgiving special of some sitcom that was on the television.

It wasn't until she heard the brothers get up that she stepped foot in the kitchen again.

"We were going to go play some hockey," Jack informed her, laying his dishes in the sink. "You wanna join?"

"No, I'd rather not go up against the Michigan Mauler and Co. thanks."

Bobby came from behind and swung an arm over her shoulder. "I've seen you play, you were quite the terror yourself."

"That was then, this is now," Valerie laughed, shrugging off Bobby's arm. "I'm gonna grab a bite to eat since I haven't yet and I'll probably start cleaning up."

Jack shook his head no. "There's no way you're cleaning this shit up, Val. Wait till we get back."

"You guys are going through a lot. Let me help."

"Yeah, let her help, Jacky," Bobby chimed in. "I know it intimidates you when you're not the only woman in the house but—"

"Shut up, Bobby," Jack rolled his eyes. "Your jokes are expired. Val, don't do it all. I'll be back, okay?"

Valerie nodded in agreement though she was going to do it all and more if she could.

Jack gave her one last warning look, letting her know he meant what he said, before running out the door with his skates.

She would love to be on the ice, now just wasn't the right time. It would be like fifth wheeling.

Valerie grabbed a plate and filled it with turkey and everything else Jack and cooked up in content. She planted herself back on the couch to finish the rest of the sitcom when she was satisfied with how much food she had piled up.

The sitcom was stupid and it was eerie to be alone in the Mercer house. But anything was better than Thanksgiving at her Dads. Even if it was a TV dinner alone in her apartment. Thankfully, it was not, and instead was a delicious meal whipped up by the delicious Jack Mercer.

Valerie didn't listen to Jack and cleaned up everything. Something he was quite upset about when he stormed into the kitchen a couple hours later.

"I told you not to!" He said in frustration. "Now I feel like a dick."

"It was no problem. Really."

He continued on talking but Valerie didn't hear a thing. Sweat dripped from his long hair that was mussed up from skating around the rink and matted to his face. He had his black tee shirt thrown off, now only wearing a white undershirt that exposed his lean muscles underneath just enough to capture her attention. For the first time in her life, Valerie was seeing Jack through everybody else's eyes. It was no surprise to her that Jack was attractive, she had always known. But she had never lusted after the guy before. Right now, she was ashamed to say, she was definitely having some lustful thoughts.

"Valerie? Are you listening at all?"

"Nope." She said honestly. "Not at all."

She didn't miss how Jack's lips had now curled up at the edges and how there was now a glint of a amusement in his eyes. "You were checking me out."

Valerie didn't miss a beat. "I was not checking you out."

"You were," his wicked grin made her squirm because she knew she had been caught. "I'm fine with it. I don't know if Cody will be. You drooling over me."

"You're insane," she folded her arms defensively. "And it's Cole. You know that."

"Is it Cole? Thought it was Cody. Doesn't change what I said though. You were checking me out."

Valerie narrowed her gaze on him. "I'm going home."

"Earlier you told me to chill out, now _you_ need to," she didn't like the way Jack laughed at that. "I'm only teasing. _Stay_. You promised."

"Fine, besides, it doesn't matter what he thinks anyway," Valerie said. They locked eyes. "We broke up."

Jack grinned.

"Shit," he said. " _There is a God_."


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Valerie walked down the stairs lazily. Her hair was still dripping wet from her shower and she had shoved on her university sweatshirt and old jeans that she had ripped in high school from too much street hockey.

The boys were all up and ready to go when she made her way into the living room.

She came down to see Jack was flinging on his leather jacket and heading for the door with the other two Mercer brothers.

"Where are you guys heading?" She asked, scrunching up her hair to get it to keep its curl.

"Lawyers," Bobby answered her. "Ma's safety deposit box."

"Oh, well have fun," Valerie said. "Will you be back for dinner? I can throw something on."

Jack pushed through the archway and his older brothers. He shook his head. "Nah, you're not doing shit. Go out and have fun or something."

Valerie laughed. "You know I ain't good at that."

"You ain't good at cooking either." Jack said as he left.

They all piled out the door.

Valerie didn't listen to Jack. She never did and she wasn't going to start now. She started on the boys' laundry and she tidied up all their mess. She would have cooked or maybe baked something but Jack was right about one thing, she couldn't cook for shit.

She called in a order for a pizza when she heard the engine of Bobby's car in the driveway.

Angel didn't even stay to hello. He walked in and walked out - probably gone to get Sofi.

Jack sat next to her in front of the TV. She had cracked open a beer while she was waiting for them to get back and was watching Coach Carter on the movie channel.

"Did you even go out?"

She shrugged, taking a sip from the bottle in her hands. "That's for me to know and you not to find out."

He rolled his eyes.

Bobby ran down the stairs just as the bell rang. He flung the door open and Valerie walked over to pay the bill.

Bobby whistled. "Valerie Beaumont, if you weren't almost ten years younger than me, I'd wife you."

Valerie grabbed the pizza and brought it to the living room. She let out a little chuckle. "Why's that Bobby?"

"You got my laundry done, the house is fucking spotless, food is hot and ready," Bobby said. "And you ain't even bitching about it."

Jack's head snapped towards them. "Val, I told you to just relax. Why do you keep doing all this shit?"

"Ain't you heard? I'm trying to get Bobby to wife me."

Jack muttered something she couldn't hear but she rolled her eyes and let it go.

Bobby patted her shoulder and gave Jack a shove before digging into the pizza.

"If she wants to act like our housemaid, let her," Bobby spoke up. "I ain't complaining."

Bobby kicked back on the couch, propping his feet up of Evelyn's coffee table. Valerie went back to sitting on the floor, her back pressed against the foot of the chair.

They all ate in silence. Bobby left when the credits rolled up. She wasn't sure if he went upstairs or outdoors, she wasn't paying any attention. Jack was silent, still intently watching the screen even though there was nothing even slightly interesting on it.

She leaned into him, resting her head on his broad shoulder. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm alright," he told her. "I'm always alright."

"Bullshit, Jack," she didn't believe he was anything but terrible. "Your mom's gone, your bands on tour without you. How are you holding up?"

"I don't know, okay?" Jack ran his hands through his already slicked back hair. "It seemed like everything was falling into place and now it's all fucked up just like it was before."

She gave the arm she was leaning on a squeeze.

"I don't want to sound like a bitch but I'm glad you're here." He laughed, not looking at her. "You're the only sane person I got with me right now."

"Yeah, Bobby's crazy," Valerie nodded in amusement. "Angel ain't far behind either."

 **X X X**

Valerie had stayed at the Mercers for two nights now, on their worn-out couch. Sofi had stayed the night, too, Valerie realized when she had been woken up to yelling in Spanish.

Bobby was starting his usual idiocy when it came to Sofi, who was not taking a second of it, and Angel was trying to defuse the situation.

Valerie, unfortunately having slept on the couch, had no chance of sleeping through this. She flicked open her eyes, sitting up straight, and stretching out. Nobody seemed to notice her, too wrapped up in their agruements.

"How are you all so rowdy? It's like ." Valerie yawned out. All three of them turned to her.

"Sorry, did we wake you?" Bobby said sarcastically before going back to trying to degrade Sofi as much as he could. Valerie rolled her eyes at all the childness that was going down.

It calmed down after awhile. Sofi offered to clean up Bobby's wounds, ones Valerie had no idea how he got, and they sat down at the dining table with a makeshift first aid kit. Bobby cursed as she cleaned him up and Sofi called him a pussy - but it was calm. Valerie hoped Jack didn't have any matching wounds - she didn't see anything when he came back last night but that didn't mean anything. It had been late when the boys came back, just as it had the night before. Valerie knew these boys were up to something, with Bobby being back it was bound to happen. She couldn't see the Mercer men letting their mothers death go without "closure".

Angel started yelling about cops pulling up and the new calmness was lost. Sofi scurried around to get Bobby something to wear to cover his wounds. There was no doubt in Valerie's mind now that he had gotten them from something less than legal.

Valerie retreated into the kitchen in an attempt to avoid the drama.

Jack stood in the kitchen, chugging milk from the carton, clad only in his boxers.

Valerie scrunched up her face. "Revolting."

Jack put the carton down and grinned. "We both know that's not true," he said with confidence Valerie wished she embodied. "What's going on out there anyway?"

"Green's here." Valerie informed him the second the door bell rang.

Valerie stepped out to get the door, greeting Green with a polite smile.

"Officer Green, good to see you," she told him with a faux-chipper attitude. "What brings you around here?"

"Morning, Valerie," Green said back just as polite. "I could be asking you the same thing but I won't."

He gave her a pointed look. "Can I come in?"

"You got a warrant?" Valerie said. Green immidiately looked taken aback at her words and her lips twitched in amusement.

"I'm just playing. Sure, come in. Everyone's in the living room."

When Valerie entered the living room with the two men, everyone, including Jack, was in there, already sitting down. She stifled a laugh at Bobby's attire: a silk, floral bath robe.

The two cops started questioning Bobby about some hair at a crime scene the night before and Valerie barely held back a scoff. Bobby claimed it wasn't his - or he'd already be in cuffs - but there was no doubt in her mind that he had been there. Valerie looked at Jack to see his reaction to all this but he wouldn't meet her eye, which told her everything she needed to know.

When Officer's Green and Fowler left, Jack tried to leave the living room without her noticing but she was hot on his tracks.

She followed him up the stairs and to his room. He shut the door before she could reach it but Valerie had no shame in opening it.

She stepped in and Jack rolled his eyes.

"I know what you're doing," she said softly. "But please be careful."

It wasn't a coincidence the boys were getting in trouble after Evelyn's death. They were doing something about it.

"I will, okay?" Jack said. "I promise."

"It's all I ask."

She patted down his sweater and smiled. "You look good today, by the way. I like the sweater."

He tipped his head down to her. "You always look good."

She clasped on to the rosary hung from his neck, trying to distract herself so she didn't let a dopey expression make its way on to her face.

"Thank you."

 **I had severe writers block when I wrote this so I'm sorry about its blandness.**


	20. Chapter 20

Bobby came up with another plan, not heeding Officer Green's warnings. Jack agreed without thinking and Angel tried - but Sofi had different ideas, demanding that Angel stay put and have dinner with her.

Valerie stood in the hall watching the scene go down.

"Angel," Sofi said, her voice suddenly quieter. "You said this time was going to be different."

That tugged at Valerie's own heartstrings - experiencing her fair share of absent boyfriends.

"She's getting real comfortable here, huh?" Bobby said, still having some fight left in him. "What are you doing? I thought you was a macho man? A tough guy?"

Jack laughed.

"It's a real shame little Jacky's the only one down to ride," Bobby sighed. "Lets go Jacky!"

Valerie stopped Jack as he tried to make his way out the door.

"When will you be back, do you know?" She questioned, peering up at him.

He shrugged. "I don't know. Late, I guess."

Valerie nodded.

"Look, Jack, is there any point of me being here anymore?" She said, she had packed her bag up already. She had been planning on heading back to the apartment if he ended up going out for the third night in a row. "You're gone all the time. I feel like I'm loitering or something."

"Don't you start now, too."

Valerie frowned, she crossed her arms. "What?"

"I got things to do," he told her. "But I wouldn't have asked you here if I didn't want you to stay."

She let out a breath. "Okay."

"Say goodbye to your big sister, Jacky!" Bobby shouted from outside. "Lets go!"

Jack gave her a sympathetic look and followed Bobby.

"Take me with you." She hollered at him before he was out of earshot.

Jack glanced back at her then at Bobby who shook his head.

"Please," she pleaded with them. "I'm bored out of my mind here."

She saw Bobby give in, throwing her a nod.

Jack, however, didn't budge.

"Val, there's no point," he said. "You don't need to get messed up in this shit."

"Neither do you," she pointed out. "But you did."

Bobby smirked. "She's got a fair point, Jacky."

Valerie gave him a smug look. He narrowed his eyes her way.

"Get in the damn car."

Valerie wasn't sure exactly what they were doing but she was fairly sure they were breaking into someone's house.

Bobby told her to dig around for something that might give them clues to Evelyn's death. He let her know they were in the shooters apartment.

There wasn't much of anything in there. She trailed behind Jack as he tore through the guys belongings while Valerie held the flashlight. It was dim in the house; all the windows had been covered and they couldn't turn on the lights in fear they'd capture somebody's unwanted attention.

"You should've stayed out of all this."

"Yeah, well I didn't want to," Valerie shrugged. "You can't tell me what to do."

He grunted. "I can try."

"There's nothing here." He said.

Valerie pointed her flashlight at a silver camera. "The camera could have something on it."

"I doubt it. Probably just some personal photos and shit."

Valerie shook her head. "You said these guys were trailing your mom, right? Well tell me a better way to keep tabs on her life than to take pictures?"

"Alright, alright," Jack huffed, throwing the camera around his wrist. "I get it."

Bobby stepped into the room. "You guys find anything?"

Jack lifted his wrist. "A camera. You get anything?"

Bobby grinned. "A little something."

Bobby had found his own mini gun cartel. _A little something_ , her ass.

Jack looked through the camera, which turned out to be filled with photos of Evelyn. She shot Jack a proud look; he turned away.

They flicked through the photos together. Valerie wasn't really paying attention. She was seeing how much of Jack's OJ she could drink without him taking notice. It was down to half a glass when he picked it up.

Bobby landed on a photo and Jack grabbed his hand and told him to stop on it.

"That's that lawyer guy," he told them. "He told us he only met her once. He _lied_."

That's all it took for them to decide to go show up at that laywers place. Valerie tried to reason with them not to do that - he was a lawyer - but they didn't listen to her the same way she didn't listen to them.

"Can I come again at least?" She pouted at Jack.

She almost saw him cave. "No, okay? You're not getting in trouble."

"You stay here with Sofi. Keep her company." Angel told her. But it sounded more like he was begging.

"Whatever you say, boss."

He slapped her on the back.

Sofi was a lot harder to keep company than she expected.

When the boys ripped out of the driveway, she grabbed her keys.

Valerie blocked the door. "Sofi, where the hell are you going?"

"To get a coffee," she said innocently. "Do you wanna come?"

Valerie was smart enough to know Sofi probably wasn't going to grab a coffee but she shrugged on her winter coat anyway and followed the visibly angry Latina out the door.

"You're crazy." Valerie groaned when Sofi pulled into some Upper Class driveway behind the car the boys had drove.

" _He_ makes me crazy." Sofi said inferring to Angel.

Sofi got out of the car and slammed the door. She stuck her hand in through the open window and beeped the horn repeatedly.

"Robbers in the house!" She yelled loudly. "People, there's robbers in the house."

"What the fuck, Sofi? _Shut up_!"

She didn't shut up. She probably got louder.

Valerie climbed over her seat into the drivers side and struggled to push Sofi's hand off the wheel. Sofi was stronger than Valerie imagined she would be so she instead tried the next best thing.

Valerie flung open the door to the car with force and Sofi stumbled backwards into the snow bank.

Valerie stepped out of the car and hovered over Sofi. "I swear to god if Jack gets caught because of you just because you're pissed at Angel, _I'll -_ "

"You'll what?" A smirking Jack asked her.

"I'll guess we'll never know now since you cut me off." She teased.

Angel bent down and propped Sofi upright again. But Valerie could tell he was trying his hardest not to flip out, his jaw was locked that tight.

"There's robbers in the -" Sofi tried to yell again but Angel clasped a hand over her mouth just as a fancy car pulled into the driveway.

If Valerie could take an educated guess, she would say it was that lawyer guy.

Bobby spotted him, too. He made his way over the car. The old man reeled down the window.

"What is going on here?"

Bobby yanked the man out of his car and flung him on to the cold snow.

"Thought you said you didn't know our mom?" Bobby gritted out. "Mind telling us why you were with her the night she died?"

The old man struggled to get words out but not before Bobby whipped his bare stomach. Valerie winced, shoving her face into Jack's sleeve so she didn't have to watch. She didn't like how defenseless the man seemed; it made it too difficult to watch.

Jack pulled her in closer by wrapping an arm around her shoulder. He softly rubbed up and down the spot his hand lay on her arm.

"Your mother and I were seeing each other _socially_ ," the old man stuttered out. "...I have some of her night things if you want them?"

Bobby helped the man off the ground and apologized for the misunderstanding. Valerie finally peeked out from Jack's shoulder. The old man was pretty gracious for someone who was just getting a beat down by Bobby Mercer.

"You're insane, you know that Bobby?" She told him. She hopped into the car with the boys instead of Sofi. Valerie was afraid Sofi wouldn't take Valerie shoving her into the snow very well. "You're crazy. That poor old man. Your mom told me she was seeing someone, she really liked that guy and you gave him a good smack."

"I didn't know!" He said defensively.

The reversed out of the lawyers driveway as if none of this had ever happened.

"You know Sofi told me we were going to get a coffee?" Valerie mumbled.

Jack laughed and Bobby joined in.

Jerry shook his head. "That girl is a piece of work."

Bobby eyed Valerie in the rearview mirror. "That was a nice move, though, Beaumont. Hitting her with the door."

Valerie scoffed. "Hardly my best moment."

Jack squeezed her hip. "It did the job, that's all that matters."


	21. Chapter 21

Valerie lid on the couch, trying to get to sleep but felt too restless. Everyone else had already gone to bed ages ago. Even Sofi and Angel, who had been upstairs doing a lot of _making up,_ had seemed to have gone to sleep.

Footsteps padded down the stairs and a lamp was flicked on. Valerie glanced up to see the light flickering on Jack's face.

"Come upstairs with me for a sec."

Valerie shook her head. "Jack, I'm trying to sleep."

"Okay, you can," Jack nodded. "Just after this."

Valerie huffed and rolled her eyes but despite that, she still followed Jack up the stairs.

They went inside his room, Valerie took her usual place on the floor and Jack sat on the bed, pulling his acoustic guitar into his lap.

"You said you like our slow stuff right?"

Valerie raised an eyebrow. "That's true, yes, but I never told you that."

Jack shrugged. "I figured you did. I found that mix with our song on it."

"I knew you were a secret fan."

Valerie's cheeks heated up. She had thought she hid that mix well. "Jack, that was in my room!"

His lips twitched. "Oops?"

She shook her head. Of course Jack would snoop around in her room.

"The point I was going to make was I wrote a new song and I wanted you to hear it. It's called Ashtrays."

Jack started strumming and humming to the beat and Valerie was instantly captivated by it all. Jack's raspy voice wasn't much above a whisper.

 _...It's been awhile since I've come around, it's nobodies fault but yours_

 _I sit in your living room, just as I had many times before but now I know we're no more_

 _You didn't say a word but I know the score: you don't love me anymore_

 _Now I sit alone, filling up ashtrays and writing songs, all for a girl who did me wrong..._

Slow songs were Jack's forte. He made you feel something. He loved his punk rock, though. So Valerie knew she wouldn't hear much of his slower tempo stuff.

"I really liked it," Valerie said honestly. "Maybe you can record it and I'll put it on another mix you'll find when you snoop around my room."

Jack rolled his eyes.

"I should go thank whoever did you wrong because that's a beautiful song," she joked and Jack cracked a small grin. "Play me another before I go."

Jack began strumming again, another soft tune. It only took Valerie a few lyrics to spot the song: Clapton, Tears in Heaven.

 _Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven? Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?_

Valerie watched how concentrated Jack became on the chords. The lyrics hit her hard. She heard the song a million times, she loved Clapton, but before now there was no emotional tie to the song. Watching Jack's passion and emotion broke her heart.

 _Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven? Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?_

When Valerie glanced up at Jack again silent tears had begun to stream down his face. Valerie uncrossed her legs and crawled on the bed next to him.

 _I'll find my way, through night_ _and day, because I know I just can't stay here in heaven._

Jack's words had now become strangled and rough. Valerie couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed the guitar from his hands and laid it on the floor, pulling the boy in front of her into her arms. She could feel his hot tears soak into her sweater and on to her skin. Valerie tried to fight back her own tears but she couldn't stop them from falling.

Valerie leaned back after awhile. Jack still had a few tears rolling down his face but he never made a sound. He probably didn't want either of his brothers to hear. She wondered how often he had gotten like this after Evelyn's death and she wished she could have been there to comfort him through it every single one of them.

Their eyes met and Valerie couldn't handle the absolute look of loss in them.

Valerie wiped the last of Jack's tears away with the wool of her sleeve, smiling at him the best she could. Jack ran and hand through her hair before leaving it still on the base of her neck. She peered up at him but his expression was no longer sad - it was unreadable.

In an instant, and before she had time to react, Jack was pulling her into his lap and tipping his head down to hers.

Somewhere in Valerie's conscious she knew she should pull back but it was buried too deep at this point. Instead, she caved into his touch as if she had been craving it this entire time. Maybe she had.

Jack's eyes fluttered over her, as if he was searching for something.

"Bobby was right about you." He said suddenly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She rasped out.

"You do have those bedroom eyes."

Valerie had been going to laugh at what he said but too suddenly his grip on the back of her neck and tightened and he had crushed his lips on to hers and her laugh was instantly muffled. It was the opposite of any kiss she had ever had; it started off feverish, hot, and needy but then everything began to move in slow motion.

"We should stop." Valerie said so quiet it almost fell mute on her own ears.

"Then tell me to stop." He replied in between feather-light kisses on her neck. Valerie moaned but couldn't form the words stop. She wasn't even sure it was in her vocabulary anymore.

Thoughts of stopping whatever they were doing dissipated as fast as they had appeared. Suddenly her only thoughts were Jack. His tattoos, his hair that has dampened from sweat, his rosary hanging on his bare chest and the heat that seemed to flow out of her body and into his.

Jack fiddled with the hem of her sweater and Valerie pulled it over her head and flung it somewhere in the room. It felt good to be pressed against him - skin to skin.

The clasp of her bra was unhooked and it followed her sweater across the room. Those were just the first layers to go, all others followed in suit.

Jack's gaze flickered over her and he gave her a toothy grin. She was happy to see it replace the previous tears. "Do you want to stop?"

"No," she said breathily. "No. Not at all."

Valerie awoke to sun beaming into her eyes and Jack's arm pulling her in closer. In her grogginess, she had forgotten what happened and how she ended up here. But once she felt his body heat, it all came back in flashes.

Valerie traced his tattoos lightly with her fingernail, just as mesmerized with them as she had been the night before. She stopped at the Evelyn tattoo, rubbing a thumb across the ink and then pecking it softly.

Jack mumbled something incoherent and soon after his eyes opened. He scanned over her for a moment, taking her all in, it was as if he was trying to decide if she was really there.

"Good morning," Jack greeted her groggily. His voice still full of sleep. He ran a hand down her bare back. "I had fun last night."

"Me too." She said, biting her lip.

Jack peppered hot kisses down her neck and Valerie groaned, knowing she had to get up.

"I have to leave." She told him. "I have to go to work. I'm probably already late."

Jack's grip on her got stronger. "Just lay here a while. Relax."

Valerie wasn't sure if what happened was just a pick-me-up screw or not but it didn't feel like it. Not at all.

"I'd love to," she sighed. "But work calls."

She stood up, flinging the duvet off her body and picking up her clothes that were scrambled all over Jack's bedroom floor.

"I'll be back." Valerie told him.

"I'll hold you to that." He said.

"Ah, the walk of shame," Bobby said, still smug. "It's been awhile since I've had one of those. Tell me, Valerie, how does it feel?"

She groaned. "Shut up, Bobby."

"Alright, alright, I can tell when I've said too much," Bobby laughed but Valerie didn't find anything funny. "But I'm gonna warn you: if you lead my little brother on, I'll kill you."


	22. Chapter 22

Valerie creeped back into Jack's room after she finished work and school. He seemed to have just gotten back from somewhere, too; his hair was matted down from snow and he still had his jacket on. But he was lid on the bed, staring at the ceiling, with his headphones on.

She sat at the edge of the bed. "I want to show _you_ something."

He pushed himself into a sitting position and slipped the headphones around his neck. "Val? What do you mean?"

"You'll have to come with me to find out."

He grunted in protest but followed her down the stairs. She pulled on her boots.

"We're going outside?" Jack questioned. "It's snowing like hell out there."

Valerie shrugged, hiking her bag up on her shoulder. "That's perfect for what we're doing."

They walked through the snow which was falling heavy like Jack had mentioned. She dragged him into an abandoned home a couple blocks from Evelyn's.

"Are you gonna kill me or some shit? What's up with the creepy location?"

Valerie flicked on the lights. Which wasn't exactly _lights_ but a large flashlight she had placed there earlier. It illuminated the wall in front of them where a half-painted mural took up most of the space.

"I got inspired," she told him. "I thought maybe you'd like to watch."

He nodded.

Jack sat on the floor and Valerie threw her bookbag to the ground, yanking out stencils and paints. She got too it quickly. She really only had to tweak it and lay the finishing touches but for some reason she wanted Jack to be there for it. She wanted him to watch the process and not just the finished product.

It took maybe an hour. Maybe more. Valerie sat down her paint cans and took a few steps back, admiring it.

When she stepped out of his view, Jack sucked in a breath.

It was a black silhouette of a man, grasping a guitar and strumming. The guitar, red in colour, was hooked up to a generator that plugged into the town the man overlooked. The whole town was shining.

"You and me, we share a concept, we want to create a message," Valerie said quietly. "You said it yourself that day outside my house. I wanted to make this for you - to show you I do think your music makes a difference and I know how much you care about this goddamn city we live in."

"Also, I just thought maybe it'd cheer you up, even just a little. Since the boys left without you and everything."

Jack stood up. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his chin into her shoulder.

"I think Bobby was right about you."

"Yeah?" She said. "About what?"

She could feel him smiling against the bare skin of her neck.

"I think you're too much for me."

"Mmm," she hummed. "Good or bad?"

"Good," he said immediately. "Very good."

Valerie giggled despite herself. "Jack Mercer, I could say the same thing."

They walked home in the snow. Valerie couldn't wipe the stupid smile off her face. She expected it to be weird between them after last night but it wasn't.

"Lets go for a skate." Valerie said randomly.

Jack looked down at her. "We don't have skates with us."

"Then lets go get them!"

Valerie had to shove on Evelyn's skates which to Valerie's surprise were not figure skates and in fact were women's hockey skates. Valerie was glad. Figure skates always tore up her ankles and she didn't feel she could move as fast in them.

Jack had grabbed his own. They were tore and beaten because he had the same pair all through high school until now. She remembered in freshman year Jack joined the hockey team just like her but in sophomore year - he dropped it and started a band. She had called him a pussy, despite her brother _also_ being in the band.

Stef wasn't very good at hockey. If she needed someone to practice with he would force Jack to do it as Stef sat on the bleachers with his Walkman.

She felt like she was in high school again. She skated past Jack as soon as her metal skate touched the ice. Jack laughed and then chased after her.

"You know you always used to kick my ass at hockey?" He said. "You never slowed down. I was beat out a half hour in. Where the fuck did you get all that energy from?"

"Lets see," she skidded to a stop next to him. "I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, and I didn't stay up partying until two a.m on Tuesday nights. I'd say that's where it came from."

"Probably." He agreed. "You _were_ that boring, weren't you?"

She shoved him and he gripped her shoulder to steady himself on his skates. Valerie bit her lip to silence her chuckle.

"I wasn't boring," she said defensively. "I knew what I wanted so I stayed dedicated to it."

"Yeah, boring."

She tried to skate away from him again but he grabbed her hand. She stopped and he gave her hand a small squeeze before skating along with her. They stayed like that for awhile - just doing quiet laps, holding hands. It didn't feel like high school anymore because they had never done this before. In high school, she would probably be yelling at him to keep up by now and he would be telling her to stop bitching.

"I think this is the longest time you've gone without tearing my head off on the ice." Jack said, breaking the silence.

Valerie rolled her eyes. " _And_ you ruined it."

She felt a shiver crawl up her spine. "It's getting chilly. Lets go home."

Valerie sat on the counter, waiting for the kettle to boil and Jack leaned against the wall, cracking open a beer. Valerie grinned at his rosy cheeks, they made him look like a little kid. She was sure hers looked the same; they always did after being outside in the winter.

"What are you doing anyway?" Jack tipped his beer in direction. "What's the kettle on for?"

"I'm making hot chocolate."

He shook his head. "You're such a kid."

"I don't care. I'm not gonna deny myself something I like just because a tough guy like you thinks it's stupid."

He raised a brow. "You think I'm tough?"

She turned away from him with a sigh. _Of course_ he would focus on that part of her sentence.

The kettle whistled at her and she turned off the burner and poured the hot water into her mug. She sipped at it slowly, not wanting to burn her tongue. Jack watched her intently.

Valerie took the mug down from her face. Her brows knitted together. "What?"

Jack didn't answer her. Not in words, anyway. His lips, chapped from the cold, moved feverishly against hers, she didn't even have to time to think about what was happening; all she could do was respond.

She laid her mug down on the countertop and placed her hands under his jaw, pulling Jack's face closer. He wrapped a hand around the back of her neck, his light touch tickling the sensitive skin. She smiled in between kisses. Her legs tangled behind him as she discreetly pulled him

in further until he was pressed up against the countertop.

She felt as if this was her first kiss - it wasn't, it wasn't even her first kiss with Jack - but her heart fluttered and her fingers trembled as if she had never experienced a kiss before. Maybe she hadn't, maybe they had all just been practices for the real thing.

Her lips parted, to take a breath, but Jack took full advantage of the opportunity. His tongue slid into her opened mouth, finding her own.

He paused their kiss for a moment, pushing his forehead up against hers. His hair was matted and wet from the snow, it stuck to her forehead.

"You taste like chocolate." He said breathily, his lips twisting at the corners.

There was a low whistle and Valerie was so utterly distracted by Jack she just figured she had forgotten to turn off the kettle and placed her mouth back onto his.

" _Yo_ , break it up," Bobby grunted. Valerie briefly glanced up and her cheeks flushed at the sight of him. "I don't want to see this shit. Ya'll better not start getting on like Angel and La Vida Loca."

Though, when Jack stepped away from her, Bobby patted him on the back. "But I gotta say, I'm proud of you, little brother. I actually walked in on you and a _girl_. A decent looking one at that."

Valerie frowned. "Decent, Bobby?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I can't say anything else. You're a kid."

She wanted to remind him - _again_ \- that she was twenty years old but it always seemed to fall on deaf ears.

Bobby took a can of Coke from the fridge and retreated from the kitchen once again. When he was out of sight, Valerie yanked Jack down to her once again by the fabric of his t shirt.

"You know," Valerie mumbled against his mouth. "I just realized Stef is gonna slaughter us both."

"Screw him," Jack mumbled back. "He left us here. Think of it as payback."

She grinned. "That's good enough for me."

He kissed her again and this time she didn't pull away, for anything.


End file.
